UNBEARABLE EDWARD POV OF NEW MOON
by paulineta
Summary: Edward's point of vew of New Moon. I know there's alot of this one out there, but give it a try...I'm sure you going to like it
1. Preface

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT. IF I DO I WOULD BE IMMENSELY HAPPY....**

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**Preface**

When you realize that you very existence hurts over and over again the person that you love the most and that it might kill her; if you love that person as deep as you said, it isn't the right way leave and let her life her life without fear or any single trace of menace.

That's why I leave my dear love, my sweet angel, the reason of me very existence, my lovely Bella. I just wanted the best for her, to have a normal happy human live so, though this almost kill me I left her in pain but hopping she'll be up again soon.

And of course, when I know that she was dead, it was the end of my world, my life, because even though I've already say goodbye to her I could live knowing she was alive; and also know that when she was definitely gone from this world I will follow her and maybe then we finally can be together.

So, here I was, about to give up my life and hopping whit all my whole being that I have a soul so I can be with her.


	2. Chapter 1 RIGHT AND WRONG

**DISCLAIMER: AS ALWAYS I DONT OWN _ANY_ OF TWILIGHT LOL...**

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Chapter 1

**RIGHT AND WRONG**

_"What a night, this is coming bad to worst and I can't even know how....or why... aw this is annoying. I truly hate myself for being what I am because... well I don't know exactly but the only thing I know for sure is that my beautiful Bella was about to been harm or worst for what I am. Of course I don't blame my brother - I already told him that- I blame myself for not being strong enough to leave and let my love had a normal life, but the truth its that I just can't; only thinking of that… it hurts so bad..... But I have to find the strength if I love her as much as I say don't I?"_ I was thinking all of this while I lying in her bed waiting for her. _"I have to do this I must do it and made her safe and happy, she's my all and she deserves at least this for me..."_

At this point she entered her room:

- Hi- I said and I notice the sadness in my voice and I bet her too, she always notice everything.

She come close to me, push the presents away and sat into my lap, this feel so good, I loved her so much...

- Hi- she answers me with her beautiful low voice and snuggled into my chest- can I open my presents now?

Ah!! She wanted her presents, she is so adorable and so good for me I don't deserve her. But for now I'm going to leave aside my sadness to enjoy with her, I owe her that.

-Where did the enthusiasm come from? - I ask her, it still being a little uncomfortable for me can't read her mind

-You made me curious

She take one of the presents and was about to open it when I think that she might get hurt again

-Allow me- I suggested, then unwrap it and give it back to her.

When I did this I can see the anger in her eyes and when she took it and answers me I was absolutely positive that she was mad, because she likes to do this kind of things by herself, she is completely lovely.

- We're going to Jacksonville? - She asks me so excited that I almost smile, almost but I can't, not after what happened. I should stop this, I just promise to myself to put it aside for her!!!

- That's the idea

-I can't believe it. Renee is going to flip! You don't mind, though, do you? It's sunny; you'll have to stay inside all day.

This please me, she's always worry about me

-I think I can handle it, -I said, and then frowned. -If I'd had any idea that you could respond to a gift this appropriately, I would have made you open it in front of Carlisle and Esme. I thought you'd complain.

-Well, of course it's too much. But I get to take you with me!

- Now I wish I'd spent money on your present. I didn't realize that you were capable of being reasonable. –I think I should expect this, she always surprise me and now I figure that I might give her a present and bear only a few comments of anger from her.

Oh, now she reach for my present (well Alice's too), I think I should handle that too. I took again the present from her hands, unwrapped and give her back.

After her reactions I hope that she'll be excited by this, I made it by myself and whit all my heart. I put it at her CD player and press the Play button.

I stare into her face waiting for her reaction. First, when I saw her eyes fill whit tears I thought that is because the song, because I put her lullaby at first, but then I remember the slash in her arm and feel ashamed for thinking in me first and not in her needs.

- Does your arm hurt? - I ask worried

-No, it's not my arm. It's beautiful, Edward. You couldn't have given me anything I would love more. I can't believe it. – Then she gets quiet and I figure she was attentively listening.

- How does your arm feel? – I asked after a moment

- Just fine. - but I don't believe it, she looks like she was in pain, slightly pain but even this slightness bothered me, I don't want her uncomfortable, I want her happy.

- I'll get you some Tylenol. - And of course she starts to protest but I don't care, she needs her medicines. I return with a glass of water and a bottle of Tylenol. She took the pills without complain because she know that one way or another I will make her take it.

- It's late- I told her and then scooped her up off the bed with one arm, and pulled the cover back with the other. Then put her down with my head on her pillow and tucked the quilt around me. I lay down next to her, on top of the blanket so she wouldn't get chilled and put my arm over her.

She leaned her head against my shoulder and I listened her sighed happily. This simple sound brings back to my mind what happened tonight and a thrill run though me at the thought of losing her forever.

- Thanks again- She whispered and I knew what she means.

- You're welcome. - I say almost absently because I began to think.

"_I love her, more than my own life and so I have to do the best for her". _I began to make a list in my mind about what was right for her and what was right for me._ "Of course what was right for me frequently was wrong for her- the right thing to do for her is leaving, letting her have a normal life whit all that it implies, including the pain for me, because this would destroy me. I also knew that this will cause her pain and this knowledge hurt me very much but I hope that this won't last much, that she will hopefully recover soon and that she forgets me and start a new safely life"._ This though made shudder in pain "_she will forget me, I will be nothing but a mere memory, if not nothing" _it felt like, if I was able, I was about to cry. Then she interrupts my thoughts.

-What are you thinking about? - ask me in a whisperer. I hesitated for a second before tell her the truth which I think was the best.

-I was thinking about right and wrong, actually.- say in a low voice, then I feel her chill and it made me pain, she must heard the sorrow.

-Remember how I decided that I wanted you to not ignore my birthday? – And I knew that she is trying to distract me from my uneven thoughts.

- Yes- I agreed, wary. Wondering what she wants for me.

- Well, I was thinking, since it's still my birthday, that I'd like you to kiss me again.- this amuse me, I love kiss her, the feel of her lips touching mine was unbelievable, it's something that I would never get tired of.

- You're greedy tonight- I teased her, I love to do this.

-Yes, I am–but please, don't do anything you don't want to do- and this time she sound almost angry. Of course this made me laugh and then came to my mind the reflection I had before, about I was supposed to do, then I sighed.

-Heaven forbid that I should do anything I don't want to do- _yes, please; that for some kind of miracle I couldn't go; that some kind of bolt came down to the sky and stop our suffer; or that some kind of angel talk to me and assure me that this beautiful, unbelievable, amazing, loving girl will be safe with me._ I put my hand under her chin and pull her face to mine.

I carefully kiss her, softly, then I thought that this might be the last time I kiss her and my urgency for he grew up; my other hand reach for her head and twist my fingers into her hair, securing her face to mine; then, I feel her fingers twisting into mine, crushing to my body, and of course, this make me eager to have her, to never letting her go.

My breath begins to speed up, and then I realized what I was doing and gentle but firmly push her away through her bed. She was gasping for air; another thing I should remember "_she needs air!!!"_

-Sorry, that was out of line.

-I don't mind- and I have to frown because of course she like it.

-Try to sleep. Bella

- No, I want you to kiss me again- and if I do that I will lose my control and I will end up doing thigs that only harm her

-You're overestimating my self-control.

-Which is tempting you more, my blood or my body? - She challenged. And well, in this I can't answer in other way that with the truth

- It's a tie- And I grinned briefly in spite of myself, at the thought of that. Then, I was serious again. - Now. Why don't you stop pushing your luck and go to sleep?

-Fine

She presses her injured arm against my shoulder at the same time she hug me; then, I feel how the sleep slowly fall to her.

When she finally fall asleep I take back my meditations

First of all continue with the list in my mind "_the best for me, of course was staying whit this girl, the only girl in my world, but I knew that this was wrong"_ and with that, I finally see the best way to go.

I have to leave her, make her believe that I don't love her any more so she could go on with her life, find love and be happy, and the most important thing, ALIVE.

At this thought I hold her close, as if with this I will never get to lose her. This was painful, even to think it, but I knew it was the right thing. I would have to start as soon as possible, but for now I will allow myself to enjoy this last brief minutes with her.

She began to talk, and more than once she plead me to stay with her – thing that she won't do since that first day in our meadow – and this broke my heart because I release that she have seen too much of my pain, so I held her even more tight to me trying to make her feel safe and hating every part of what I'm about to do to her. I began to cry tearless, all night as I watch her sleep.


	3. Chapter 2 THE END

DISCLAIMER: DO I HAVE TO DO THIS IN WHOLE THE CHAPTERS? OF COURSE I DONT WON TWILIGHT, BUT I WOULD GKADKY DO...LOL

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Chapter 2

**THE END**

The two days before was the most painful and horrible in my life… first, I decided to `broke up´ with my love, my Bella; then, as my plan was ignore her; I began to do it even though I still care. Every now and then I turn around and look at her but she never notice that "_she need to thought that I don't care anymore"…_

Went to my car, embrace myself and face my fate. As I drive through her house –after deliver the package- set a speech for her and at one point I realize: "_this is useless, she won't believe me, I have to lie for hours and even then, she wouldn't believe that I don't love her any more,_- here, I get in to her home, up to her room and in a very childish act, I collect all the things in her room that can reminded her myself and hid them under her floorboard, I knew this was wrong, but, the truth be told, I want to leave something from me with her though, she'll never know, I will promise her a no reminders forgiveness- _her faith in me won't let her believe me, she would remind me all the times that I told her how much I love her_"; this was a complication I didn't see before and it will destroy me, I wouldn't been able to bare it and I will surrender and give up to my strength and stay. I heard her truck arriving and I convince myself to do it, and told me "_you have to convince her, if you don't do it she will end up her human life as soon as she can"_ I can't allow it. I get out of the car and go for her, took her bag pack and put it back to the truck

-Come for a walk with me- I suggested in an unemotional voice, taking that soft and sweet hand of hers. She don't answer me but I was about to lose my grip so I needed to do it now. I pulled her along toward the east side of the yard, where the forest encroached. We'd gone only a few steps into the trees when I stopped. We were barely on the trail so she could see the house and don't get lost. I leaned against a tree and stared at her.

-Okay, let's talk- sounded braver than she seems. I took a deep breath and begin to my lies.

I realize that I was not paying attention to our conversation 'till I said the words that definitely would broke her sweet heart….

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me"- each word burn in my mouth like acid unwillingly getting out, always staring her face to make sure that the words sink in, but never looking into her eyes.

"You… don't… want me?"

"No" this was the biggest lie I have said in my life; I will always want this beautiful, lovely, sweet girl. She stares into my eyes and I embrace myself and stare back.

"Well, that changes things" now she sound calm and I was surprised by that. I studied her face and I realize that she actually didn't understand what I jus say. There I have something to say, it was important to me I want to make her one last gift, even if she don't notice, but it was burning in my chest. I look away from her, because I let go for a moment my façade…

"Of course, I'll always love you… in a way" in every way that it could be in the world; she will always be my love, my only love "But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… tired of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human" this was painfully true, I'm not human and that's why I can't stay with her "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that" she'll never knew how sorry I was and not for loving her, I could never be sorry for that; but because I hurt her over and over again for my selfishness, for mi desire for be with her, because if from the beginning I had stayed away from her she won't have to deal with this.

"Don't" her voice was just a whisper now as she realizes what I meant "Don't do this" and all I can do was stared at her and regret of every amount of her pain, pain that was my fault. Now that she understands what I'm saying I have to give the final blow…

"You're not good for me, Bella" "_ah, what a lie, she will always be too good for me, to precious, to lovely"_

"If… that's what you want" I just can nod, I can't find my voice. Then I realize that I have to make sure myself that she would be safe without me, that she will be careful…

"I would like to ask one favor, though, if that's not too much" as I said the words I lose my façade and the pain and despair run all over my face, but I catch up my grip, well almost…

"Anything" she vowed

Now I completely lose my strength, I have to make sure that she will try to stay safe, with no harm in her beautiful person. I stare deep in to her eyes with all the intensity I was able for, just to make sure…

"Don't do anything reckless or stupid" I ordered, putting all mi hope and faith in this thought "Do you understand what I'm saying?"

She nodded and put back my mask again as I continue…

"I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself" for him- "_for me sweetheart, my precious love…"_

"I will" she whispered. And I relax a little, hoping that her father love and care made this job, my job for me.

"And I'll make you a promise in return. I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed" this promise settled in to my heart with ache, and I hope for her own good that this happen; that it will be as if I never existed, never in to her precious live.

"Don't worry. You're human; your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind" yes, from her kind

"And your memories?" She asks.

"Well" I hesitated for a short second "I won't forget. But my kind… we're very easily distracted" "_I will never ever forger this few months with the most beautiful thing that cross my life. And I will always thank fate for given me the chance to fall in love for this awesome person, and that she loves me back, it's more than I can ask for"_ I become to walk away leaving there the reason of my existence, my whole world

"That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again" as I walk away I heard her say in a very low, weak voice

"Alice isn't coming back" I look back at her and shook my head, always watching her face

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye"

"Alice is gone?"

"She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you. Goodbye, Bella" I was almost dying as I said these words

"Wait!" She bent her arms to me and this was more than I can stand, I took her wrist and put them each side of her body. I lean down and press, one last time, my lips against the hot skin of her beautiful face, in her forehead, her eyes close.

"Take care of yourself" I breathed, take a last sight of my love and ran away…


	4. Chapter 3 WITHOUT HER part 1

**DICLAIMER: HEY, I'VE GOT A QUESTION...IF I DON'T PUT THIS, WHAT WOULD HAPPEN? I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT, BUT I DO OWN _ONE_ EDWARD LOL... HE'S FLUFFY**

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Chapter 3

**WITHOUT HER (part 1)**

I get into the car and drive to my "house", left it in the garage and run faster than I ever had…

After that my life become the same, I run day and night, trying to escape to the infinite pain and misery inside of me until it catch me and I threw myself to the ground and let them have me…

Every time I close my eyes I saw her beautiful face, smiling at me, but then it changes to an extremely sad face and it made me scream and cry tear less-and actually louder than before- it feels like my dead heart was gone, that it lies with my love, and left a huge hole in my chest who make, if it is possible, more unbearable the pain.

Like two months has passed since I left my sweet Bella – I don't have idea how I know it, I just did, somehow…- I was running, as always, when I caught a familiar smell, I stop and inhaled at the top of my lungs, as I recognize the scent my view fill with a red undertone and my mind ran through memories... and not a pleasant ones.

They were about last spring, when I almost lost forever my Bella in the hands of James...-my breath become uneven at the thought, and the hollow flutter in my chest- and how his girl, Victoria had helped him. I really never thought as Victoria as a menace for Bella but she owe me allot, because she was the one who tell James how to find my love, how to threaten her; and she was the reason she almost died…I suddenly felt an unbelievable rage and ran, following the scent…I will kill her with my own hands, piece by piece and with the greatest pain possible.

I followed the trail for almost ten miles when it ended abruptly, I look both sides of the road and find nothing but a tires trail that lead me to a sort of town, very small one with just a few people.

"_What a weird young man… come on baby, don't look at him…I hope he won't stay for long… eww, he's scary…" _the people around beginning to think- it was so long since I don't hear others thoughts…- worry about my clothing all mess up and dirt and my wild rage features the best I could because the deep pain still there, when I realize about this I rearrange my features to a most polite expression and look around, sniffing, testing the air, trying to find her. There was a faint trail of her but nothing resent, it was like three weeks ago…

-Can I help you?-_"he seems so sad, I hope he's alright"_ ask me a girl that won't be more than 13 years old at my back. I turn around to face her.

-Mmm… maybe…-how to ask her…-have you seen a woman allot like me, pale, white skin, with red hair…-as I describe Victoria, the little girl become to shudder and a picture of Victoria came to her mind, and there was also fear, a lot of fear

- Yes, she being here like a month ago, she was weird and scary, and like a four part of the town suddenly disappeared… it was awful…- she said to me in a shaky voice- But since she's gone, everything become normal… well, almost normal- and she looks around. When I did it too, the few people I saw had disappeared and there was only five men with guns in their hands, and of course this little girl- are you here to hurt us?-now there was fear in her eyes.

- No, of course not- I heard a sigh of relieve in their heads- actually I'm following her to take her…-I hesitated, looking for the right word, of course they wouldn't notice-prison-I thought it was the best one- she ran out there six months ago and she's very dangerous- the girl was about to tell me something when a man walk through us- I can tell you all what you want, why we don't get into my house?, and by the way, I'm John and this is my daughter Bella- and put his arm around the shoulders of the girl. I contain the causing pain of the name and nodded.

I follow them to the farthest house and we walk in. There was a beautiful woman with a baby in her arms, mumbling a lullaby, and I couldn't avoid imagine my Bella like that, with a child of mine in her arms, on a rocking chair, always smiling; at first, this thought made me smile, but then I realize that this was never going to happen for two very good reasons: first, I leave her, I left my beautiful girl behind me; and second because I couldn't have children, I wasn't human, there wasn't that possibility for me. This thought made so sad that I could have cried. This happen so fast that they don't even realizes.

She lifts her head and meets my gaze, the fear in her face and in her thought were out of discussion, she held close her baby and walk backwards. John, her husband almost run to her and hugged her close.

-Don't worry Mary, he won't hurt us darling- he comfort his wife and make me want Bella's back, to comfort and care her; this was beyond what is bearable, but then, the image of Victoria's face came through my mind and I recover myself- He's here to find that evil woman. Please, don't be afraid-She calm down and sit back on the couch but still holding tight the baby.

-Please, sit down, do you like something to drink or eat? - John asks politely.

- No, thanks, I'm actually in a hurry; I hope you don't mind.

-Of course not, what would you like to know?

-Well, I would like to know how long she was here.

-Three weeks for now.

-Does she have some kind of company?

-No, but… well, maybe. She talks allot by phone-and I saw what he minds. I saw Victoria interrupting in their house violently grab the phone and talk fiercely with some one- but we never knew with whom. Sorry.

-Don't be. Do you know where she goes then?

-I think so; she said something about going the south, Texas I think…

-Well, thank you very much, that's very useful. Take care of you and if she appears around here again, please, call me- and I give them my cell number- Thank you again.

- Your welcome, and don't worry, if I saw her I will call you mister…

-Edward, Edward Cullen- and we shake hands. He walks me through the door and when I was out of sight I started to run to the nearest city. But first I need to hunt; it was over a month since the last time I did it and can't allow myself to be surrounded by humans and thirsty.


	5. Chapter 4 TRACKING

**DISCLAIMERS: WHY YOU MADE US PUT THIS THINGS... IF ANY OF US OWN _ANY_ OF TWILIGHT, I THING WE SELL lol. ANYWAY. I SADLY DO NOT OWN TWLIGHT**

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Chapter 4

**TRACKING**

I was at the Bismarck Municipal Airport buying a ticket to Texas. I bought one economy place-the only available, actually-to Austin, Texas; only 4.50 hours to travel. In there I will find the way to found her. And, to be honest, kill her…

I arrive to the Austin-Bergstrom International Airport at 11:30 in the morning and it was a very sunny day so I went to the nearest hotel I can found, five minutes away, and check in. While I was waiting I let myself be carried away for the pain one more time. I saw my Bella's face beneath my eyelids, so pure and beautiful… "_I hope that someday she could forgive me, and with any luck she might have a good memory of me"…_I can't expect be something else than a "good memory"; I don't like that but I hurt her so much and so deep…

Time past fast, but not fast enough; I have plenty of time to run through my memories with her, torturing myself at the knowledge of never ever see her again. When I look to the window it was dark enough so I go out.

I went to rent a car to go down town so I can search for her. When I get there I walk around all night trying to find her but I had nothing.

I do this every night like two months, going further and further in every town of Texas; leaving the car nearby Sunset Valley and running around the state, searching her…; until one day…

I start to walk around; -I don't even know the name of this new town!!!- scanning the thoughts around me to see if I could find some trace of Victoria. About a three hours later I found something interesting; not exactly a clue for where she might be but a fear, pain and desperation overwhelming. I get closer so I could do something and I found a very young guy, almost a child, cover in blood and almost dead. I kneel beside him and I took his pulse; it was week but even then, he opened his eyes and stare into mine, as he do this I could see Victoria hunt him down and took him, but then she smell me and run away leave him like this. Suddenly, the memory stops and when I look down he was dead. I carry him to the hospital and leave them in the door without witnesses.

"_So, she wasn't too far from where I found him. I have to return and find her…"_ I thought as I ran back, following my own scent; when I finally get there sniff around until I finally got it. It conduce me again into a dead slide. I was in an underground parking where her scent get hidden for the cars smoke. I look around to make sure that there was no one else there and sniff again, more deeply and carefully than before; I found her faint smell and get to a tires trail. I follow it out of town.

The trace led me to the desert, deep inside; it was getting stronger and stronger until I finally watch her. She was very far from me, I can't even read her mind but somehow she knew that someone was following her and ran so fast that she become blur and unattainable. I ran behind her I managed to listen something about Brazil before she disappear.


	6. Chapter 5 WITHOUT HER part 2

**DISCLAIMER: i WOULD LOVE TO OWN TWILIGHT BUT, SADDLY, I DON'T...**

**ENJOY READING!**

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Chapter 5

**WITHOUT HER (PART 2)**

I return to the hotel room I had rented before go to the airport to buy the tickets to Brazil. The flight was going to leave tomorrow evening so I have a lot of time.

I really heated have free time because, the pain I keep aside to accomplish my mission, become the center of my thoughts once more and it makes me difficult to think straight. So, as pathetic as I am and I always will be without my Bella, I left myself through the misery…

The flight was… was… "_Wait a minute; I don't even know how the flight was…"_ well… I thought it was fine. All I can remember is boarding and the next thing landing… what a strange thing, if I don't put even the slightest attention I will end up hurting someone or worst!!! -As I can't be hurt- exposing what I am…

"_Well, that would be something, at least for a change_"… no, I can't do that "_FOCUS Edward, stop acting like an idiot… ha! As if I could: If I really stop acting like an idiot I should go back to my Bella"_

I walked around the towns of Brazil, in the evenings, when I could hide from the sun light, looking for her, Victoria; but more than anything, distracting myself of the immense pain I felt over the loss of my love every time I stood still.

The days were the worst of my life, pathetic and futile, if not crawling (or rather, trying to crawl to be honest) I let the pain take possession of my body that consume me and make me see the vile creature I was.

My life began to be a total nonsense; when I was in my way between one population to another, deep into the jungle, I hunt; when the sun came out and I was nearby them, I hide in any place I could find: sewers, cellars, attics. Sometimes, when I was in a big city, buy some clothes, just to not attract much attention; my wild aspect would have terrified the people around me.

One day, while I was drowning in my pain again, it had been almost 4 or 5 months since the last time I spoke with my family, so I decided that it was time to let them know about me; not that I was fine because I will never be; but at least alive; sooth them a little.

"Hi? Edward, son, is that you?"- He sound so anguish that I felt guilty for be the cause of it.

"Yes, I am…"

"Oh, son, I'm glad you call"-Esme… call Carlisle with the voice full of joy and happiness-"you don't know how much we've missed you. Actually I just said that if you don´t call soon, I will go and pick you by myself"

"I'm so sorry, but I don't know anything about me at all; I just thought that I should call you. How are you being? What's new?"

"Nothing new around here. All of us were so worry about you. How are you? Are you coming soon?"

It was the first time that I thought about return, although not with my family. Arose in my head images with an amazing healing power: the dark window of my beloved; my beautiful Bella's smile, with her eyes fill with love and forgiveness, an "I love you" in her sweet lips… my breath become uneven as I imagine that. And then, as always, I realize that I couldn't do that; that Bella never forgive me and, even if she does, I can't put her in danger again "_I made a promise, Bella deserve a life"_…

"Son, son. Are you there?"- The terrified voice of Carlisle brought me back from my little but fascinating fantasy-"Answer me Edward!!!"

"Yes, I'm here. I'm sorry"

"So, are you coming back? Do you want me to go for you?"- "_ah, I'm the worse son in the whole world"_ my father voice was so full of hope that made me feel worst that I was.

"No, I can't, I'm so sorry. Maybe latter…"- I can't stand this anymore; I feel the pain keep growing inside me; I can't hold this anymore. "Got to go, call you later"

"Hold on! Your mother wants to talk to you"

"Sorry, I can't. Bye, I love you"

Turn off the phone, because I knew that they would call again, and get back to my suffering, renew for the guilt for the pain I was causing my family… I cry tearless until the sun rise, and back to my hunt.


	7. Chapter 6 THE CALL

Hello readers!!!!!!

Hey, if you're reading, PLEASE comment, I'm begging here. It doesn't matter what you say. You could say _I like it _or _I don't like it_ or something like that. I juts wanna know what you're thinking!!!! LOL

This chapter is allot similar with the EXTRAS in Stephanie's page. YES, that one inspire me so isn't quite original. Here's the link for the EXTRA

OK I've tried to put in here the link but I couldn't so, it will be on my page, SORRY

Oh and sorry for the alerts XD

Hmm, the parts with underlines are actually taken for the PDF up...

**DISCLAIMER: THIS BELONGS ONLY AND EXCLUSEVILY TO STEPHENIE MAYER, LUKY HER UH?**

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Chapter 6

**THE CALL**

I had around a week in some place on the sour-west of Brazil; had not found any single trace of Victoria and I felt a little tired to walk around, so, I decide stay in my last hiding place. It was small, with heaps of stuffs everywhere and a persistent rotten wood smell. In a small moment of delirium, I thought it should have been the hideout of Carlisle during processing.

At some point, during a delirium undoubtedly see me kneeling before Bella, requesting her to accept me again… like the first time, the idea has brought some relief to my pain grim despite de idea of kneeling to pray, be well for life in order to be with her again…

I was thinking calling again my family, it was been like a month since the last time and I could use it as distraction.

Pull my cell out and turn it on. The first thing that happens was the alarm of an incoming text message, that's weird!! It was from Rosalie, and the message was:

"C'MON EDWARD, answer the god damn phone! I have to tell you something important, it's URGENT!!! Stop acting like a child"

Had not even finished reading the message when my phone rang:

"What's up Rosalie? Is someone hurt?"- I was so nervous, scared and angry that I don't realize that I was yelling at her-"WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER ME?!"

"BECAUSE YOU DON'T LET ME! Shut up and I'll explain you". She wait until she make sure that I was really listen-"Edward, there's something that I THINK you should know, but the others won't let me, they think that is better if you don't". Her tone was no longer cocky, it was doubtful and nervous- "Look, the thing is… well, actually…"

"What is it Rose!!"- I was on the edge so my tone was very rude- "Spit it out! Is something wrong?"

"Well…. Yes and no. How do I explain?"- Long pause and I was about to hang on when she start to talk again-"OK, the thing is that I thought it would be fair that you hear that Alice flew to Forks two days ago…"

"What?"- Why? Alice had promise me not to, well, not until after I returned-"Why?"

"I tell you, but don't be angry ok? She's not with Bella… Isn't that why town was forbidden?"

"So, what happen? I'm sorry Rosalie, but the truth is that I don't understand…"

"Ok Edward, you deserve know the truth; I think the quicker you get over this, the sooner things can go back to normal"-"_the nervous babbling again, this woman is coming to my limit"_-"Why let you mope around the dark corners of the world when there's no need for it? You can come home now. We can be a family againand…"

"ENOUGH!!!! Tell me once what is going on and STOP BOTHERME!!!!"

"Ok, ok"- "_she don't even get mad at me for yelling her, something very wrong is happening"_ I thought more anxious than before- "It's just that… well, Bella left"

"What?"- I was completely confused, "_so much craziness because Bella left?"-_"Is that the thing that was so important that you had to tell me? Rosalie, I'm not in the mood…"

"No, Edward is not that… It's just that she leave forever"- I still in misunderstanding; I was sure that, if she ever leave, she will never return, so…; this was a nonsense; apparently my dear sweet sister realized that- "She's dead Edward…"- my breath become uneven and she began to speak faster-"I'm sorry. Bella… threw herself off a cliff two days ago. Alice saw it, but it was too late to do anything. She went back to do what she could do for Charlie..."

The phone went dead and dialed the one number I'd promise myself I would never call again. I'd prove my "little sister" how wrong she was; and if some day I saw her again, I'll torture her with my own hands for this sick little joke of hers. If it was her, I would hang up, if not… well, I can't think of that, it was too painful.

"Swan residence"-answered a voice I'd never heard before. A man's husky voice, deep, but still youthful.

I didn't pause to think about the implications of that.

"This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen"- I said, perfectly imitating my father's voice- "may I please speak to Charlie?"

"He's not here"- the voice responded, and I was dimly surprised by the anger in it.

"Well, where is he then?"- I demanded, getting impatient.

"He's at the funeral"- I don't even let him finish, I just have strength to hang on.

The words pierced me like a hot knife- or so I thought-, my head stopped working and the stone, dead heart in my chest, shake with an indescribable pain and desolation; the air blow out of me and my body became to ice, the only thing I could feel was a dreadful cold.


	8. Chapter 7 VOLERRA

Sorry about the long wait...All I cound say in my deffense is that school is hard, busy and quite pain in the ass LOL

I know it's short but I hope you like it... Please, if you read, comment

**DISCLAIMERS: AS ALWAYS, STEPH OWNS EVERYTHING...LUCKY HER ;)**

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CHAPTER 7

**VOLTERRA**

Lit my phone again and called it the first airline that came to my mind to arrange my trip to Florence, the closest to Volterra; I had a number ticket and a flight plan: would stop in Mexico, Spain and Italy, before taking a short flight to Florence. Ticket was simple, one-way, I will never come back. I knew that I hurt my parents and my brothers, but honestly, their pain will be minimal compared with mine, I could only expect them to understand and forgive me some day.

When I left my hiding place, I realize two things: one, it was noon, so I should be very careful and quick to be seen; two, I was in Rio de Janeiro, one of the major and crawled cities in Brazil, which would be a problem.

I discovered that the airport was really close, just ten miles away, would easily run. I looked around to make sure no one was near enough to see me and start running.

I knew what I was doing was very wrong, because I might be discovered, but to be totally honest, I didn't care; all I wanted at that time was to BE discovered; end up with this pain so unbearable; being able to meet once and forever with my Bella.

While running my phone began to ring, but I had not desire or strength to answer, so I drop it.

I arrived to the International Airport of Rio de Janeiro and I picked up my ticket. I registered in the international departures and board, wishing with all my heart that this will end soon.

During the flight, my mind was unusually clear since the day I left behind my beautiful Bella; I began to plot the best way to present my request to the Volturi.

"_Florence, at last"_ I put the pain aside and focus on my target.

It was noon, and it was one of those suns shining days with no one cloud in the sky so, I couldn't get outside…

I went to the underground parking lot and find a car fast enough to arrive as quickly as possible to my last stop.

The first view of Volterra had been impressive if I had been giving attention, but the only thing I could see was the tower, where laid the only ones able to free me from this torment.


	9. Chapter 8 VOULTURI

A/N: OK I know it's short but for all my readers... I'll post more in the week ;)

**DISCLAIMERS: WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE TO OWN TWILIGHT CHARACTERS BUT I'M NOT SO _THANK YOU STEPHANIE!!!!!!_ LOL**

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Chapter 8

**VOULTURI**

It wasn't hard to find the Voulturis; they sell invaluable antiques in one of the oldest and most exclusive areas of the city.

I was surprised when I notice that the receptionist was human, and she know EVERYTHING that happened inside here; even more! She hoped that someday they'll turn her into a vampire! The surprise didn't last me much because actually, I was a little impatient, I need to end with this. I walk reach the desk and talk with the most polite voice I can get:

"Morning, I'm Edward Cullen. I'd like to talk with your masters"

"Sure!"- The receptionist answers me gently; but her thoughts were another story, there were fear and confusion- "Give me a minute. Please, take a sit"

I sat in one of the big armchairs that were around and listen carefully. Her name was Gianna: "_weird! Usually, when one of THEM was coming, they announced me. This must be an unexpected visit"_ picking up the phone and dial 4 numbers extension.

"Felix"- even though she was talking very low, I can hear her; and through her thoughts I could hear the other side of the line-"I have a young man here…"

"And what he wants"-His voice full of impatience-"Gianna, you already know that you can't bothered me each time someone arrives!!!"

"Yes, I know. But is one of YOU"

"One of us?! And what does he want?"

"He wants to make a petition to The Masters"

" Petition? What kind of petition?"

"He didn't say…"

"Then tell him to do an appointment!!!!"- He answer infuriated. But I can't wait so, I get up and walk towards the desk; I told her that I was Carlisle son and that if they tell them that, they will met me- "GIANNA. Are you still there?"

"Yes, yes… sorry!!! The boy says that he known Carlisle…"- she turns to see me and I gave her my last name in a whisper-"Cullen. That if you gave the name to The Master, he will receive him"

"Mmm… I see. So, he will insist until he gets it… ok, tell him wait, I'll pass his message…"

" You will be attended in a minute sir. Please, take a sit"

The last thing I want to do was sitting, but I realize that I have to find a way to raise my request and convince them to kill me…

I was refining my plan when, the farthest aisle, came a man with a black cloak:

"My name is Felix; you must be the "SON" of Mister Cullen right?"-Even though his voice distilled arrogance, his thoughts betray him showing a bit of fear and respect- "Please, follow me"

I got up and follow him. We went through a set of double doors located to the end of the room; we walked a short distance in another corridor and passed a simple wooden door into a stone antechamber; then, there it was a brighter, cavernous room, perfectly round like a huge castle turret.


	10. Chapter 9 THE PETITION

I'm very sorry for not updating mor frequently but school got me buisy. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter, I know it's short, but I truly believe is one of my best. PLEASE, I'm beggin her, revew... that makes me smile.

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING ABOUT TWILIGH BUT I DO WISH I COULD...LOL**

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Chapter 9

**THE PETITION**

"Good afternoon young friend!"- Greeted me with enthusiasm the black hair vampire, Aro "_What does he need? Does Carlisle all right?"_-"What brings you here? There's anything I can do for you?"

"Actually, you can. I would like to ask for a little favor, if you don't mind"

"Ah! Where are my manners?"- He came to me walking, with a huge curiosity in each of his thoughts-"My name is Aro, and these are Marcus and Caius"- He said pointing the two vampires behind him. Of course, I all ready knows that.-"And you are…?"

"Edward Cullen"

"Ah! Young Edward, it's a pleasure to meet you"- He kept walking very slowly towards me, but, for some kind of reason, I couldn't understand his thoughts-"And tell me, what's that favor? My friend Carlisle is ok? Does he need something?" –he had a sincere interest and concern, but there was something suspicious in all this.

"Carlisle is perfectly fine"-truly, I was getting on my top; I had to get down to business, and I had to do it now-"thank you for asking"

My tone was harsh and a light snarl out of my chest. Lucidity left me quickly and I felt how the aching pain came in shocking waves through my body, making me shiver. I knew I couldn't stand it much longer; and for the expression of Aro face, I knew this battle could be seeing on my face.

"_Oh! Poor guy, I would like to touch him to know what causes him that kind of pain"_

"What is your request?"

"I would like to ask you to end up with my useless existence"- "_What? That is impossible…is he out of his mind or what? That's a weird petition…"_the thought of the vampires around me show their disbelief and confusion for my words. But I had to admit, there's not many suicidal vampires- "If you don't mind"-I explain myself holding tight to the remains of lucidity in me- "I lost the love of my existence 12 hours ago; I lost her forever and I don't intent continue living without her"

I suppressed a snob that struggled to get out, but I couldn't avoid the pain sweeping through my voice.

"_What a strange request!!!" _– The thoughts coming from Aro where all confusion an concern by my person-"_I don't know what to do!!! I can't do this to my dear friend Carlisle!!!! Aw… if I could only touch him…"_

There were so much confusion and true love through Carlisle that I knew they wouldn't do anything to hurt him, so I thought it would be the best if I do what HE wanted.

I approached slowly, with outstretched hand. When he took it, I knew which his gift was, and for a moment, I regret the touch.

Aro gift was similar to mine, but potentially more powerful. He can "hear" every single thought and memory of a person.

He saw all the memories I had from my family: how Carlisle found out my gift just before the transformation; my endless days and nights of loneliness; the irrepressible thirst I felt on my first few decades, and my remorse when I realize the monster I was; the first time I saw Bella, and that odd but powerful need to protect her-the true beginning of my life- the first time I smell her wonderful scent and the thousand plans I made to kill her; my break in Denali, and the disclosure of my desire to go home; the first time I talked with Bella; when I realize that I love her; the first time I felt jealousy and how that feeling scare and confused me; my endless nights watching her sleep, just to hear her talk; our first time in the meadow; our first run together; our first kiss; when James attack her and I almost lose her forever; our first dance; the first "I love you"; The felt of her skin against mine, the much I want her; when I realize that the most I was with her, the less she will living; my fear of an immortal Bella, but also the crave of THAT Bella; the way I broke her heart…

Those and much more memories ran through my mind in less than 5 minutes. When the exchange was over-mean while Aro was fascinated, his thought were wild and eager; his joy for his old friend, the curiosity and "thirst" for Bella, and the irrepressible greed for my gift; for use it as a weapon- I felt hollow; the pain had taken over me more deeply than before for all the fresh memories. But also was rage, rage for that abnormal curiosity about MY Bella.

"So…"-I ask, controlling my voice the best I could-"Would you make me that favor?"

"I don't know boy"-_ "What a difficult decision!!! His gift would be very useful"_-"Let us think about it!"

I was confused and angry "_What, stay in here?"_

"Stay cal Edward, you will stay with us. Demetri will take you to our house and brought you back when the decision is taken. Alright?"

I nodded slowly with my head. I don't have the strength or the mood for nothing else.

I left the residence preceded by Demetri. I was so desperate to get over this pain, that I didn't put much attention to the thoughts around me. That's the reason why I was surprised when I find me surrounded by humans. I put more attention, searching for some kind of thought who clarify what was going on.

"_Ah, there is a woman; a vampire named Heidi. She brought the humans for "lunch"; so, this is the feeding room"_

For a moment I have to fight back a yell. I want to tell them to get out of there, but I can't; I need them to really considered my request, y I know they wouldn't If I scared their humans. I swallowed and continued outraged ahead.

We went to a double door that were at the end of the corridor, down four flights of stone stairs and came to an underground corridor, follow it for at least 18 miles and passed thick wooden doors. We climb into a luxurious elevator for four floors and, when we get out, we were in a luxurious apartment.

"The place is for guests"-Demetri said, inviting me with his hand to get out the elevator-"Make yourself at home. I'll be back for you when the time is right"- And saying this, he left.


	11. Chapter 10 THE VEREDICT part 1

For my lovely readers. I'm really glad that you liked it, or not. Thank you for taking the time and read!!!!

If you **_ARE _**reading this, please REVIEW!!!!! even for to tell me that you don't like it....PLEASE?!?!?!?!?

Also I wanted to apologise for taking so long to update, but life is a wild and really crazy roller coaster righth now, but I have all my hopes in that once the school period is over, my life will be easy again. XP

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ABOUT TWILIGHT BUT MY OWN CRAZY IDEAS. lol**

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Chapter 10

**THE VEREDICT (part 1)**

The waiting was unbearable; I decided clean me up a little and found clean clothes in a room. Actually, this has no sense, but I want to do something to spend time and no thinking…

Demetri arrived about 3 a.m. in the morning. We get to the elevator, but instead of getting down, we went up 4 more floors. When the doors open, we enter in a room lined with panes of polished wood and big paintings with gilded frames.

Aro, Marco and Caius where there; sitting in those massive chairs, like thrones. The three of them were very careful with his thoughts.

"Welcome back Edward"

"Thank you Aro"

"Well boy, you might anxious to hear our veredict, right?"

I just nod once with my head.

"I regret to inform you"-As I heard the first word, my few hopes were dashed in the air, leaving a huge hole in my stomach-"that we decline your request Edward. I believe that you might understand that we can't do something like that to Carlisle. You haven't done anything against the law, and would not be right that we do. We have an image to watch.

I was about leave; if it was needed violate the law, I would…

"However" -Aro began to talk faster, probably sensing my decision-"I have something to offer you…"

In that moment, his thought went free. I saw a real yearning to having me at his side, forever. Suddenly, a wave of excitement and gratitude ran through my body, but immediately I realize that was the work of a vampire called Chelsea; they used them to "convince" the coveted to form part of the Voulturi guard.

A ferocious roar came out of my chest.

"HOW DARE YOU??"-I jumped forward, decided to kill him for daring such a thing. Is that they don't understand my suffering…

Suddenly, I found myself at another place, confused. I ran through the thoughts around me, and I saw a vampire behind Aro. Her name was Renata, and her job was to divert the attacks directed at her master.

I stood again, and the growl came hard, with renew strengths.

"Don't you understand? She was my life!!! MY EVERYTHING!!!"

"Calm down Edward. We understand. If your decision is NOT to join us, that's all right"-I started to relax a little bit, as the pain came back-"you can leave in peace. But I have to warn you; if you broke the law in any way, I have to kill you"

"_What a waste, would have been a great acquisition"_

Without saying a single word, I turned around and left that place.


	12. Chapter 11 PLANS

OK, SO THIS IS VERY SHORT, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. TO AMMEND THE LENGHT, I POST MORE TOMORROW, TOP ON FRIDAY...

PLEASE, R&R BECAUSE THAT MADE ME HAPPY LOL

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING, BUT I'M GLAD STAPHANIE DOES XD**

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Chapter 11

**PLANS**

I went to the street, desperate to do something to end with my pathetical existence, something to get me through my Bella.

I started walking around, and notice that, despite the time had an unusual number of people at the street… "_That's weird"_

There was a strange excitement in the air, and I notice that was the early morning of San Marcus day."_Good!!!"_ so they'll be careful…

Lots of planes came to my mind: "_Making a fuss to bring as many people as possible and then, lift a car over my head with one hand; yes, it would be nice"_

I was planning how to gather a big enough audience, when a group of 20 peoples or so came up to where I was. I took a big breath, trying to think in something to stop them when I felt the thirst of their blood, a thirst I had no noticed, a thirst I didn't satisfied the past month.

My plane change; I will hunt, right here, right when they passing in front of me; they were more than enough; they make enough trouble and the Voulturi would come.

They approaching more and more; I would skip on the first to pass by my side, I put in position… and then, the terrified face of Bella appeared in my mind, followed by my father's face, with a deep disappointment.

"_I can't do this, for Bella, she deserves better than a monster. My father, he will suffer a deep pain when he hear about my death, no need more pain, I won't disappoint him in the last minute. Besides, MAYBE I have a soul; maybe I have the forgiveness I need to entered heaven; if I kill an innocent person now, I probably will never be able to be with my Bella anymore"_

My muscles relaxed immediately and ran in the opposite direction. I won't stop until I found a perfect place to hide, at the end of a narrow alley. I arrived at the corner point and sat down; my back against the wall, my arms around my knees, tight against my chest.

I needed another plan, one that doesn't hurt anyone except me. Then, the beautiful face of Bella full with bright sparkles came to me. I remember that first day in our meadow; the amaze and delightful on her eyes when she saw me for the first time under the sun light. "_That's it; she loved it and won't hurt anyone"_

I still needed the widest possible audience, and within a few hours the city will be infested with humans for the celebration, it would be the ideal time. I would do it at midday, in the crowded square, in the "Palazzo dei Priori" I look at the sky, trying to set the remaining time. The sky began to clear; still missing a few hours…


	13. Chapter 12 THE METEOR RETURN

So, I coudn't post yesterday because I was deep cleaning some stuff before returning to school, but here it is!!!

This one is short too, but we neer to the end!!! YAY!!!

Alos, If you're reading this one, PLEASE, read my other fic. It's called EDWARD'S BABY and it is about, obviously, Edward being a daddy. It takes place in BD and follows from the first thought of Renesmee 'til few moments before Bella begins to hear in the actuall book.

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHIG. ALL BELLONGS TO WONDERFUL STEPHANIE MEYER LOL**

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CHAPTER 12

**THE METEOR RETURN**

I approached slowly and carefully to the right place to my appearance, protected by the shadows.

I reach my destination and start to fill my mind with memories about Bella and Me together: her warmth, her smile; her beautiful, deep eyes brown eyes; the way I fell when she said my name; the exquisite trill that traveled my body every time she said me "I love you" with her sweet voice. These and allot more memories invaded me and suddenly, I felt an indescribable peace.

I reach the line separating the light from the dark; took off my t-shirt and drop it at my feet. Close my eyes and focus on those wonderful memories; waiting the last stroke of the giant clock.

"Edward!"- The wonderful and sweet voice of Bella reach my ears, sweetened my memories- "Edward, look at me"

My angel was coming for me; after all I DO have a soul and Bella was here to pick it. I smile to that revelation.

A warm, soft body hit mine; as this happened, I recognize the luscious scent of my Bella, and I hold her in my arms to stop her fall, welcome with joy the burn in my throat.

I couldn't believe it! Was my Bella! Exactly as I remember her! Her warm, soft skin; her powerful and delicious scent; I just needed to see her sweet eyes to know it war her. I opened my eyes slowly, savoring every moment.

"Amazing"- I was amazed by the fact of really being with her, at least-"Carlisle was right"

"Edward"- She said gasping but still, my name in her lips send pleasurable shocks throughout my body-"You've got to get back into the shadows. You have to move!"

"_What is it love? We're finally together and with nothing to fear" _I caressed lightly her cheek, fully aware of her fragile body; as that very first day. The pain of the last months disappears, leaving instead, the full joy of this moment. I could even hear her heart racing, the blood pulsing hot and fast through her veins.

"I can't believe how quick it was. I didn't feel a thing–they're very good,"-But in fact, I have endured all the pain of the world just for this precious moment. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips gently on her crown _"Ah! I dream about this all this time!"_ I press her a bit more against my chest."_Death, that hath sucked the honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty._ You smell exactly the same as always. So maybe this IS hell. I don´t care. I'll take it"-I would be entirely comfortable anywhere near her; I would bear any torture in order to be with her.

"I'm not dead"- She told me something desperate so, I separated a bit in order to look into her eyes-"And neither are you! Please Edward, we have to move. They can't be far away!"

She struggled in my arms and watched confused. Why she wanted to move away from me? And who shouldn't be far away? There was nothing to fear. Is it?

"What was that?"

"We're not dead, not yet! But we have to get out of here before the Volturi…"


	14. Chapter 13 DANGER

Helooooooo beautiful people around the world LOL

So... This is the next chapter... the other one should be up around 9 PM today so... If you readding comment PLEASE!!!!!!!  
AND, If you reading my other one, tell me what you think, I'm begging here!!!! LOL  
Love you all!!!! Have a wonderful day and amazing night.... (I have alot of coffee today, so I feel loving!!! LOL)  
tHIS CHAPTER AND THE NEXT ONE ARE LARGER THAN THE PREVIOUS, SO REVIEW SOMETHING, PLEASE!!!!!!

**DISCLAIMER: DON'T OWN ANY OF TWILIGHT... JUST A LARGE CUP OF GRATE COFFEE...LOL XD**

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Chapter 13

**DANGER**

When I heard her last word, I turned my attention to the thoughts around me and immediately found out Felix and Demetri's thoughts; they were closer, but there were about 10 more vampires around ready to attack.

I couldn't believe it, after all this time, when we're finally together; her life was again in danger and because of ME!

I moved quickly; I took her from the shoulders and gently put her against the wall of the ally with me in front of her, my arms wide open, protectively, in front of her. They would have to kill me before put a single finger on my Bella.

The closest guards were Felix and Demetri. The only thought they have in common was to stop me.

Felix was eager, looking forward to the battle that would free. Therefore knew that there's no way for me to voluntary surrender and risked my Bella.

Demetri, for the other hand, wanted to end this pacifically, without attracting the attention of humans, because if they did, they couldn't act.

This gave me an idea, but before I can act, a familiar voice rang in my head:

"_Stop, Edward"_ it was Alice's voice "_if you fight, you'll lose and Bella would get hurt. I'm coming"_

She was right; I couldn't fight, even though I beat down this two, there were at least 10 guards ready to jump on my…

When Alice's reach me, the thoughts of Felix and Demetri were thwarted. They weren't accustomed to fighting fair.

I noticed Bella more and more tense at my back; I want to hold her, to reassure her, but I couldn't; first, because we were trapped and we couldn't move, and second, because the future wasn't clear.

Suddenly, a new kind of thoughts claims my attention. These thoughts were arrogant, complacent, cowardly and authoritarian. Then, I recognized Jane and knew that we would have no chance against her.

Jane was this powerful because her devastating "gift"; she can cause a dreadful pain to mortals and immortals. It was as burn inside; and I didn't want Bella feel this pain.

I relaxed my posture and follow Jane to one of the entrances of the many buildings belonging to the Voulturis.

Despite the danger we were in, I was fully aware of the heat emanating from the body of my beloved Bella; her sweet scent. The deep pain that had tormented me so much was completely gone; I felt complete again, life was returning to reason and sense; there was beauty in my world again.

"Well, Alice"- I said as we walked anxious to know the whole story, but also to distract our "guardians"- "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you here."- In the end, she has to do with everything. Thanks to her, I realized my love for Bella; thanks to her, I was with her again… I held my love a little more tightly.

"It was my mistake"-_"As you might see. I'm so sorry"_-"It was my job to set it right"

"What happened?"

"It's a long story"-"_Which I would explain you in detail as soon as possible"_ said Alice with a calculator glare at my Bella-"In summary, she did jump off a cliff, but she wasn't trying to kill herself. Bella's all about the extreme sports these days."

"_You should also know that Victoria has been lurking her; and that she has werewolves as friends; who incidentally, were the ones who saved her from Victoria. Thanks to them, Bella still alive…"_

"Hmm"- That was more than enough; I didn't want to know anything else. "_My Bella in the hands of those unstable creatures! Her, so fragile and breakable, with those monsters!!!!! What was I thinking when I left?!"_ Well, it was truth that I didn't have any idea of this, but still… My Bella!

My thought were stopped when I felt Bella's balked by my side, trembling slightly. When I glare down at her, I saw fear in her eyes.

"It's alright, Bella"- I told her in her ear, trying to reassure her. Then, the impatience of Felix scared me-"Alice will catch you"

I would love to gone first so she had no fear; but the violent impatience of Felix didn't allow me; I knew he wouldn't doubt a second to attack if he had the chance.

I took her wrists and lowered her into the darkness, anxious to have another way to do this…

"Ready?"

"Drop her"- Alice called

Bella strongly close her eyes and mouth as I drop her, experiencing a twinge of pain and panic in this brief separation.

When I heard Alice putting down Bella, I slide in the sewer and land by her side.

"_I hope this… human, won't delayed us… I'm thirsty. Well, maybe I don't have to wait too long" _Felix thought disparagingly.

I took Bella by the waist and held her tightly against me. The heat of her body, so close to mine, flooded me with happiness and my quiet heart jump in my chest.

We went throughout the city for one of the underground roads. It was gloomy and cold, and my poor Bella shuddered with fear in my arms; I held her a little more tightly against my body. With my free hand stroked softly her beautiful face with my fingertips: her soft and full lips; her little nose; her beautiful eyelids. "_I can't believe she really is in my arms. My beautiful Bella, my angel, my life, my everything"_ I felt burning in my eyes and a snob almost out from my chest.

I line over and gently kiss my beloved forehead; burning with the desire to tell her how much I loved her. I buried my head in her hair, again and again, filling my lungs with her intoxicating scent. She shuddered over and over again, but before I get a panic attack, I heard her teeth chatter together and noticed her wet clothes. Reluctant, I drop her and keep her hand in mine.

"N-n-no"- She chattered, and throw her arms around me. I knew it was senseless since my skin was as cold as always, but still, I tried to warm her with friction.

"_Hm. I hope that this clumsy human don't delay us more than she already has"_. Felix's thoughts were more and more aggressive, and anger was quickly overcoming my fear. "_Oh, how I love to ripped him in pieces for think like that of my Bella"_ But instead, I pressed her a little more to me.

When we finally reached the end of the tunnel, I realize the place they took us. This wasn't the way to the home of the Voulturis; this was the path to the place where they judge, where they kill.

I wanted to kill them, here and now. I wasn't broke any rule, I wasn't done anything wrong! "_And Bella!"_ She was here because for ME. "_I won´t let ANYTHIG happen to her; I don't care how, but I'm going to get her out of here alive!"_

When I saw into Jane's eyes, she thought with absolute indifference and arrogance towards me. "_What do you expect, Edward?"_ And I have to make a great effort to not snatch her useless head. I didn´t want to scare Bella.

When we exit the elevator, we were at the reception; and after a quick greeting between Gianna and Jane, we head towards the double doors I had entered the first time.

Alec, the twin brother of Jane was there, at the other side; and this only served to increase the anxiety and tension- already high, inside my body.

"_Well, well, little sister"_- "They send you out for one and you come back with two…"- "_Oh, and a human"_-"and a half. Nice work"

"Welcome back, Edward. You seem in a better mood"

"Marginally"-_"Ha! My mood would be MUCH better if we were somewhere else. Or rather, if my Bella and I were alone"_

"And this is the cause of all the trouble? She's not even pretty, but she really smell good"- He added too low for Bella to hear, but the rest of us did. The voice and thoughts of Alec showed their disbelief, and my anger was growing by leaps and bounds.

"_Hmm… Alec is right; she makes my mouth water"- _"Debs"

"_HOW DARE YOU!!! She is MINE"_ I turn to saw Felix face while attempting to contain a growl, but not got it totally. My sight was beginning to tinge of red, and the venom flooded in my mouth; I was ready to attack when Alice's "voice" distract me.

"_No Edward!"_-"Patience"-told me touching my arm. "_Think Edward. They're too many; we can't against them and Bella will end up hurt. If we do this right, maybe we all could out of this alive"._

I breathed deeply, trying to calm sown, when Alec's thoughts broke into my mind "_Wow! Very touchy!!!"_ and turn back to him.

"Aro will be so pleased to see you again"- Alec continue out loud.

"Let's not keep him waiting"- Jane suggested.


	15. Chapter 14 THE VEREDICT part 2

Ok... so here it is the next chapter as promised (don't tell anyone but I almos forgot to updated it LOL)

This one is WAY longer than the previous ones so you SHOULD review LOL. Nah, just kidding, only if you want, although it would meant the world to me hahaha!!!!

Thanks for all my loyal and lovely readers (demelza12 specially), you're wonderfull!!!! You actually made my day with your words!!!!  
PLEASE, read my other FF EDWARD'S BABY, I'm pretty sure you'll love it it's cute and good (or so I've been told LOL)

SO!!! It seem cafeine still in my sistem LOL  
Have a wonderful night and beautiful dreams and, as I said to my friends "Dream with the vampire of your dreams!" LOL

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephanie and no one else...**

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Chapter 14

**VERDICT (part 2)**

We went to the same path of my last visit and, when we reach the stone tower, it was full wit vampires, my mind began to work; I was looking for ways to get out of here, any way; but it was impossible, there were too many vampires.

I was contemplating another alternative, when Bella's name brought me back.

"…Bella, too!" -Aro rejoiced, clapping his hands together "_Finally! I would like to…"_ that was all I can get from him, his thought became confused again- "This is a happy surprise! Wonderful"

"_We need Marco and Caius… I can't wait to…"_ Damn! I didn't like the way he was hiding his thoughts; he has too much interest in MY Bella, a none good interest at all.

"Felix, be a dear and tell my brothers about our company" - "_Oh, c'mon! This isn't even THAT special" _Felix thought very annoyed- "I'm sure they wouldn't want to miss this."

"Yes, Master"- "_Sure! Felix this, Felix that. Why they can't notice my potential???!!!" _Actually, this would be very funny despite the danger we were into.

"You see, Edward? What did I tell you? Aren't you glad that I didn't what you wanted yesterday?"

"_Glad?! I was the happiest man on earth! Well, almost; I would be better without all this trouble"-_"Yes, Aro, I am"- And tightened my arm around her waist; reassuring me that she really was with me, alive.

"I love a happy ending. They are so rare. But I want the whole story. How did this happen? Alice? Your brother seem to think you infallible, but apparently there was some mistake"

"Oh, I'm far from infallible"-"_You bastard liar" _Wow! I never had seen Alice like this-"As you can see today, I cause problems as often as I cure them"

"You're too modest. I've seen some of your more amazing exploits, and I must admit I've never observed anything like your talent. Wonderful!"-"_It would be exceptional have her with us…"_

"_Huh? Edward? What is he talking about?"_ Alice's turn to see me and Aro notice "_Oh, this could be a problem…"_ I thought worried.

"I'm sorry; we haven't been introduced properly at all, have we? It's just that I feel like I know you already, and I tend get ahead of myself"- "_Ha! Really?"_ I thought sarcastically-"Your brother introduce us yesterday, in a peculiar way. You see, I share some of your brother's talent, only I am limited in a way that he is not"- "_Oh, how I love to have him with me"_

"_Ok, time to intervene" _His little fantasies were way too far of reality-"And also exponentially most powerful"- "_Could you explain me this, Edward?"_ Alice thought irritated and a very confused. So, I turn to saw her and explain her- "Aro needs physical contact to "hear" your thoughts, but he hears so much more than I do. You know I can only hear what's passing through your head in the moment. Aro hears every thought your mind has ever had"

"_WOW! That means that… he knows… everything?"_

And I couldn't do more that bent down my head sorry, embarrassed for all those bad moments in my life; for my attitudes and lack of control.

"But to be able to hear from distance…"- "_Just like you two in front of me…"_ Well, it was determinate, each time Aro interrupting his thoughts, the whirlwind of emotions inside of me turn more and more faster, and the feeling wasn't pleasant at all.- "That would be so convenient"

As the word "convenient" left his mouth, his mind made a small slip. I only managed to see me next to Aro, always in touch, with Alice behind us; both wearing black cloaks…

But before I could do or say anything, the thought of Felix distract me "_Oh, joy… I'm sick of this…Hum, her smell is delicious"_

I turn my head to confront this monster, but instead to find him, I found Marco's and Caius faces.

"Marcus, Caius, look! Bella is alive after all, and Alice is here with her! Isn't that wonderful?"

"_Oh, yes Aro. Wonderful! Please! Grow up!"_Caius thought with sarcasm and indifference.

"_Hmm. Nothing SPECIAL…wait…oh, that's unique" _Marcus thought with totally apathy and indifference at first, but then, he was abruptly interested; at least for a few seconds.

"Let us have the story"-Aro said with a little much enthusiasm.

As Caius was retreating towards the seats on the wall; Marco approached Aro, and stretched out his hand to him.

Marco could "see" the relationships, and the way he did it was quite impressive. He saw a kind of "thread" that linked one person to another; the more quantity and thickness of the thread, the more intense the relationship was; the more intense that could be seen was among couples, among kindred spirits because, generally, vampires didn't have relationships with each other's apart from couples. As he receiving the bond between us, he was impressed: My bond with Bella was intense as only couples did, and that impressed him, because she still was human; on the other hand, the relationship between Alice and me, as well between Alice and Bella was almost equal to the first, and this was equally surprising.

Our relationships were based on love, not in interest therefore, our "threads" were strong enough.

"Amazing. Absolutely amazing"- Aro says.

"_Edward, what he's talking about now?"_ Alice asks me really annoyed now; so, I turn to her and explain:

"Marcus sees relationships. He's surprised by the intensity of ours"

"So convenient"- "_Now we have incentives"_ Aro thought with a dark smile-"It takes quite a bit to surprise Marcus, I can assure you. It's just so difficult to understand, even now"- When he saw my arm around Bella's waist, the memory of MY thirst came to his mind; he take a deep breath, and my Bella's scent bring on his own thirst-"How can you stand so close to her like that?"

"It's not without effort"- Although her scent cause some burning in my throat, the flow of venom in my mouth was almost nil. I no longer had the yearning of her blood.

"But still -_La tua cantante! _What a waste!"

Aro didn't seem to understand that my natural instincts were overshadowed by the intensity of my feelings, for all the wonderful moments I have lived with her, for all those amazingly feelings that she had aroused in me, for get me out of the solitude I had been living, for show me the beauty of life. I had more motivations and desire to keep her ALIVE with me, than thirst for her blood. She was my other half, she was my life… Of course, Aro never felt anything like this…

"Just remembering how she appeals to you…"-"_And her delightful scent"_-"It makes me thirsty"

"_Oh, god! If he loses control, I cannot do anything to stop them!..."_

"Don't be disturbed. I mean her no harm. But I am so curious, about one thing in particular"-"_Could she be immune to all our gifts? Perhaps direct contact is more powerful and affective"_- "May I?"

"Ask her"-"_Well, I also wonder the same thing. But I don't want HIM near her. If Bella refuse to touch him and they force her… no, better not…"_

"Of course, how rude of me! Bella. I'm fascinated that you are the one exception to Edward's impressive talent-so very interested that such a thing should occur! And I was wondering, since our talents are similar in many ways, if you would be so kind as to allow me to try-to see if you are an exception for me, as well?"- "_Clearly, I will anyway"_

Bella's eyes met mine and I saw terror in them "_Sorry Bella, but if we don't do it voluntary, they will force us"_ I thought, while encouraged her with one nod of my head.

As the made contact, I felt how Bella was shrugged slightly to my side, and the confident and cocky thinking of Aro taking a surprised tone to end up totally annoyed.

"So very interesting"- "_ME! Beating by an insignificant and frail human!_"

"_Ha, my beautiful and wonderful human is more powerful than you! That's my Bella! "_ I couldn't feel more proud of her than in this time

"_Obviously, she's not immune to EVERYTHING, perhaps it's just read minds; Alice could see her future… I wonder… Maybe we should end this up…"_

"A first. I wonder if she is immune to our other talents…"- "_Oh, I know…"_-"…Jane, dear?"

"_HOW DARE YOU!!! I would never, EVER ALLOW IT. You son of a ****"- _"NO!"- Was all I could say before the angry growl that I was trying to hold get out of my chest. "_Edward, calm down, everything will be alright…"_ Alice thought as she was trying to calm me down by putting a hand on my arm, I shake it off incredulous as I put myself in front of Bella "_I don't care if she PROBABLY doesn't feel a thing! I won't take any chances!"_

I was so furious that I couldn't hear anything apart from my own growls, and all was dark red, almost black. From the beginning I had sworn that I would NEVER allow that anything or anyone hurt MY Bella, "_And much less this witch..."_

I jump on Jane, decided to kill her; I will rip that stupid head of hers and then, slowly dismembered her.

Suddenly, an intense pain hit me in the chest, leaving me with no air and lying on the floor, feeling like every single cell of my body burn in flames, almost like the pain of the transformation. When I was finally able to take some air, I heard a cry full with pain and fear.

"Stop!"- It was my Bella, my angel who was trying to defend me. I pressed my lips together to not let any sound escape for them, and try to stay as calm as possible "_I have to do it for Bella. She can't suffer more because of me"_

A few minutes later, the pain disappeared. When this happen, I take a deep breath and sat up "_Her"_ Aro thought came to me and quickly sprang on my feet

"_Oh no. Please, no"_ I thought horrified. I found her eyes; they were full of pain, but not the kind of pain I was expecting. I turn quickly towards Jane, focusing on her thoughts. She was definitely using her power, but Bella feel no pain at all. I relaxed immediately and approached her because Alice had her prisoner in her arms.

Of course, Bella notice my glance at Jane and turn to her, shrinking back, as if she were waiting to feel some pain. I came close to them and touched Alice's arm, who immediately gave me Bella. I pressed against my side and she embraced me too, surrounding my waist with her arms, holding strongly to me.

Aro told me something but I didn't hear him, I was focused on suppressing my anger not try to kill him. I could only gaze him with the most hate as possible, whereupon Aro sighed and the said:

"So what do we do with you now?"- "_There are not many chances"_

I strained forward to his "proposals" and what this would entail. I felt Bella shaking in my arms, but the only thing I could do to ease her, was held her closer to me.

"I don't suppose there's any chance that you've changed your mind?"- "_You suppose right, Aro, now less than ever"_ I thought with determination-"Your talent would be an excellent addition to our little company"- "_And your sister even more, not to mention your Bella…"_

I was about to claim Aro when Alice said in my head "_Calm, Edward, they are too many"_ and showed me a vision where I was "claiming" Aro and, in answer, the guard attack us.

She was right, if they attack us, we all would die; and the jealousy and courage in the thoughts of Jane and Felix supported this decision. I had to choose my words very carefully.

"I'd…rather…not"

"Alice? Would you perhaps be interested in join with us?"

"No, thank you"-"_You wish peace of…"_

"And you, Bella?"

"_WHAT? NO!!!"_

"_Calm down, Edward"_

"Want to stay for dinner?"-I ask Bella, leaning towards her to whisper in her ear, when I found that she didn't understand the why's of the question.

"What?"-"_What are you thinking, Aro? I hope this is a joke!!"_

"Caius, surely you see the potential"-"_Sure, Aro, I see the potential danger, anything else"-_"I haven't seen a prospective talent so promising since we found Jane and Alec. Can you imagine the possibilities when she is one of us?"

"No, thank you"-The soft whisper full with panic of Bella brought me back. I hadn't realized the angry roar that had been building inside of me, until I hear her voice.

"That's unfortunate"-Aro said with a sigh-"Such a waste"-"_That might be your salvation…"_

"Join or die, is that it?"- I said in a whispering so my voice won't betrayed me-"I suspected as much when we were brought to this room"-"_This to all of them, here where you kill and fed!"-"_So much for your laws"

"Of course not"-"_What imagination of yours, Edward!"_ Aro thought hurt and somewhat offended-"We were already convened here, Edward, awaiting Heidi's return. Not for you"

"Aro. The law claims them"-"_All of them for traitors"_ Caius thought disparagingly.

Ha, if he thought I would do nothing, he was deadly wrong

"How so?"- _"C'mon, say it out loud" _I thought as I look at him fixedly, daring him with my eyes.

"She knows too much"-Caius said pointing with his dirty finger at my Bella-"You have exposed our secrets"- "_And if this were my call, the three of you would be already dead"_

"There are a few humans in on your charade here, as well"-I reminded him, holding to everything I could to get us out of here, alive.

"Yes"-Caius said smiling, if you can call simile at that-"But when they are no longer useful to us, they will serve to sustain us. That is not your plan for this one"-"_Is it?"_-"If she betrays our secrets, are you prepared to destroy her? I think not"

"_Bella never…"_- She and I started at the same time

"I wouldn't…" –But his glare silenced her and me his thoughts.

"Nor do you intend to make her one of us"-"_Do you, Edward?" _Caius thought, mocking me-"Therefore, she is a vulnerability. Though it is true, for this, only her live is forfeit. You may leave if you wish"

"_Over my pile of ashes"_ I said baring my teeth.

"That's what I thought"-"_You are weak and stupid, Edward"_ Caius said with satisfaction.

"_Finally! Me first…"_ Felix was expectant, leaning forward ready to attack when the sign were given.

"Unless…"- Aro's interfere almost scared by the drastic turn of the "conversation" _"C'mon, Edward, you know I don't want to fight"_ well, that was actually truth, he didn't want to fight, but he did want us with him-"Unless you do intend to give her immortality?"

"_SURE!!...¡Edward! What's wrong with you? You can't do this to Bella…but we need to get out of here… Fine, I'll say yes, and deal with it latter"-"_And if I do?"

Aro smiled, happy again- "Why, then you would be free to go home and give my regards to my friend Carlisle. But I'm afraid you would have to mean it"- Aro concluded seriously, extending his hand towards me

"_Dang it! What do I do now? If I gave him my hand he wound know my real intentions"_ I turn to see Bella and our eyes met and held "_God, I love her so much. I desire transform her with my whole being, but she doesn't deserve this unfortunate existence. She's too good, too precious to this pathetic 'life'. What to do?"_

"Mean it, please"-My angel whisperer me, almost begging me "_Oh, Bella. You don't want this, believe me_" As we look at each other, I saw how my indecision injured her; my selfishness was causing her pain again "_Sorry love, please forgive me. Tell me what to do… I don't want THIS for you"_

"_Edward"_ It was Alice and her voice was annoyed and exasperated "_Can you hear me? I am sorry, Edward, but this went beyond ridiculous. If you don't do it, I will. I'm truly sorry"_

Alice went away from us and approached Aro. "_Good, this could be interesting"_ She was closer when the guard try to stop her "_Go away" _He thought impatient. "_Finally…" _They were facing each other and, when they touched, the memories flow started.

Aro saw every single one of the memories and visions of Alice. Learning more about her and her gift than herself. He relived the visions of me and Bella, and all I could do was close with strength my jaw and contain my rage.

Then, a new vision came to their minds: Bella in a bed and alive above her, biting her; the next one was the one who had been torturing me from the beginning; it showed an immortal Bella, hugging Alice. Then the vision stop.

"Ha, ha, ha"-He laughed- "That was fascinating"

"I'm glad you enjoyed it"

"To see the things you've seen-especially the ones that haven't happened yet!"

"But that will"-Alice reminded him calmly; but there were anger in her thoughts.

"Yes, yes, it's quite determined. Certainly there's no problem"- "_So we can end this"_ Aro's relief was evident.

"Aro" Caius gently complains, but his thoughts were far more aggressive "Come on, Aro. The law is the law. Besides, don't you realize the potential danger? With this girl, the Cullen's join over 8! And at least 3 of them are "gifted"…"

The thoughts of Jane and Felix were not far from there.

Jane have a thirst of revenge because she couldn't believe that Bella was able to resist her power _"Stupid human, but you'll see. I get even"_

And Felix… well, the only thing I could say is that he was very lucky to be alive.

"Dear Caius. Do no fret. Think of the possibilities!"-_"I am Aro, I'm just realistic"_-"They do not join us today, but we can always hope for the future"-"_Keep dreaming Aro" _Alice and I think at the same time- "Imagine the joy young Alice alone would bring to our little household…Besides, I'm so terribly curious to see how Bella turns out"

"_Calm down, Edward, take a deep breath. You must get Bella out of here"_-"Then we are free to go now?"-I asked before they change their minds or I lose control

"Yes, yes. But please, visit again"-"_I'll been waiting anxiously"_ thought greedily-"It's been absolutely enthralling!"

"And we will visit you as well. To be sure that you follow through on your side"-Caius said setting his eyes in mine for a moment "_Soon"_-"Were I you, I would not delay too long. We do not offer second chances"

"_Ha! If this were for him, we would have NO chances"_ I tightened my jaw and nodded once, wishing with all my been to share the gift of Jane to get even a little revenge.

"_Oh, c'mon! She smells SO good…"_ Felix thought, barely resisting the impulse to jump on Bella and a soft moan escaped his mouth, because he knows that Aro would punished him if he do more.

"Ah, Felix. Heidi will be here at any moment. Patience"-"_I can smell the lunch already"_

"Hmm. In that case, perhaps we'd better leave sooner rather than later"-I could hear now the thought of Heidi and the many that came with her, and were quite close, and with the delicious scent of Bella… it was not the best of ideas to be close.

"Yes. That's a good idea. Accidents do happen. Please wait bellow until after dark, though, if you don't mind"- "_We don't want to draw attention"_ Aro said.

"Of course"- There wasn't way to refuse so, I accepted.

"And here"-Aro added, pointing with his finger at Felix.

"_Grate! Now this too? If you want I could be his driver tonight! Damn! She smells too good. Perhaps if I delay them a little…"_ Felix had come together with Aro, and when they made contact, Aro could "see" his intentions "_Hmm, this could be a problem. I'll better send them with Demetri"_ Aro thought as he throw me the dark cloak.-"Take this. You're a little conspicuous"

I put the cloak a little reluctant but truly, people don't walk around half naked in the street, let alone at night.

"It suits you"

"_Keep dreaming, Aro" _I have to chuckle between my teeth to hold the words that had struggling to get out "_As if there were any way for me to join this life of crime"._

Suddenly, I heard a bunch of voices and realized that we didn't have much time to leave- "Thank you, Aro. We'll wait bellow. They about to arrive"

"Good bye, young friends"

"Let's go"-I held Bella very tightly and started to drag her away from there-"Alice, get the other side. They are too close"

"Not fast enough" -she muttered upset.

Then, before we could reach the exit door, the humans began to enter. Demetri motioned for us to make room and we pressed back against the cold wall to let them pass.

"_Edward, Bella is going to notice. It will enter a woman who…"_ Alice thought pressing, but couldn't complete because, in that precise moment, a small, dark woman entered. She was terrified and asking for help almost screaming, but no one understands her, and I couldn't do anything. I had to get my Bella out of here, take her home alive. I pulled her face against my chest, wishing in vain that she didn't notice anything this time.

As soon as the smallest break appeared, I pushed her quickly toward the door. I was mortified when I realized that she understood everything and frightened by what this could do with her.

We past next to Heidi, and she and Demetri exchanged a few words, but I couldn't pay attention. I was too worried about leaving here, and my mind tormented me without rest.

"_Oh, God! Now Bella will fully understand the kind of monster I was, I have always been and always will be."_ I was sure that the vision of all those humans entering THAT room to be massacred finally makes her understand my true nature. I was pretty sure that now, she would be the one who leave me, scared "_Congratulations, Edward. Your dream has come true"_ I thought with ironic sadness.

I was very enthralled with my thoughts, that I didn't notice that I was setting a pace that forcing Bella to follow me running. But not even this pace took us out of there fast enough; the screaming started before we could reach the ornate door at the end of the hallway.


	16. Chapter 15 FLIGHT

Hello my beloved readers!!!!  
How are you been??? LOL  
I know I promised to post on friday, but the power in the neigborhood keeps come and gone since last monday!!! My stupid internet doesn't wrk wothout it!!! And I'm about to go mad!!!  
And THAT'S why I didn't post yet...  
BUT!!! finally here is it!!! The new chapter LOL  
Just a few things:  
Please, try to imagine a deep sorrow and pain with Edward, specially at the end, I feel I didn't express it quite well...  
As always, let me know what you think, specially with this one since it was the most difficul to write for me and I really don't know why...LOL  
The next chapter should be up by wednesday specially if I get LOTS of reviews!!! LOL  
I'm starting school tomorrow, so my time will be reduced alot (sad sighs) My free days are wednesdays (wink) and weekends (If I don't have dentist ugh!)  
Thank you very much for reading!!!

**DISCLAIMER: TWILIGHT AND ALL IT'S CHARACTERS BELONGS TO THE ONE AND ONLY STEPHANIE, I ONLY PLAY WITH THEM lol**

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Chapter 15

**FLIGHT**

When we reach the reception, Demetri remind us we must stay until dark, then he return with the others.

Now that we were in relative safe, I could allow me to release some of the anxiety and fear that was inside of me and, maybe, if I have some luck, the happiness and joy for the reunion.

"Are you alright?" I ask under my breath because Gianna was too close "_Hmm, I wonder what's going on? It's HIS second time in here, but now he has a cloak. Would he be attached to the guard?"_ I stop putting her attention, there were more important things.

Bella start sobbing. She was shaking worst than when we were underground, and she was so pail that is was scary. In short, she was terrified.

"You'd better make her sit before she falls"- Alice said pointing the farthest couch "_There are too many curious"_-"She's going to pieces"

"Shh, Bella, shh"-I told her as I lead her to the couch, practically in my arms-"Alice, what's wrong with her?"-I was so scared that my voice was just a whisper. If Bella doesn't calm, she was going to faint.

"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her. If she don't calm down, she will end in the hospital, Edward"

"What? NO! Alice, help me!"I said, looking franticly at her.

"I don't know what to do…"She was scared and concerned by Bella too, but the only thing we could do right now, was try to calm her.

We reach the couch, and was about to sit Bella, when Alice's voice scream in my head _"No. Edward. I think the best if you embrace her"_ so, I sat down and pull Bella onto my lap and tucked the thick wool cloak around her, protecting her from my cold skin-"It's alright, you're safe, it's alright"-I chanted again and again as I do this.

It was then when the tears start rolling down her face and my heart shrugged in my chest, full with pain. I couldn't bear saw her like that, I needed to do something.

Before I could do or say anything, she starts talk.

"All those people…"

"I know"- How I would have liked to warn them, to do something…

"It's so horrible"

"Yes, it is"-"_More than you can even imagine, love"_-"I wish you hadn't had to see that"-It was my fault! We should've left earlier. I would have preferred a thousand torments before let her attend this… I wanted to be able to comfort her, but I didn't know how; I didn't know if the time changed her.

Unexpectedly, I remember my fear that she noticed the monster in me, and this only served to increase my pain to lose her again.

Then, I felt how she put her head against my chest and I momentarily forget about my fears; given in her completely. I pull her a bit, tying to reassure her.

"Is there anything I can get you?"- Gianna voice took me by surprise.

"No"- I answer, vexed by her intromission.

When she turn away, Bella turn her beautiful face to me and speak in a whisper; a little more quiet.

"Does she know what's going on here?"

"Yes. She knows everything"-There was no point lying her, and I didn't want to.

"Does she know they're going to kill her someday?"

"She's knows it's a possibility. She's hoping they'll decide to keep her"-I was about to say something more, but I stopped when I saw that the little color she had recovered flee her face again. I was afraid to her having another attack; her body won't resist it.

"She wants to be one of them?"

I nodded one while fighting with myself, against my fear to her reaction to what "they" were, because it was part of me and my need to look into her eyes, to see the truth of her reaction and her next words.

The need overcame the fear and lock my eyes to hers, waiting. Knowing that my life, my future depend on her reaction.

"How can she want that?"-She said whispering, lightly shuddering-"How can she watch those people file through to that hideous room and want to be a part for that?"

"_Oh, God! Finally happen, she finally realizes the deplorable creature that I am and always be. Now she walks away from me forever! Even if I had the opportunity for her forgiveness after all the pain I made her through the last months, I just lose it for what I am"_ The pain I experienced was so deep that I couldn't contain it and my face betrays my suffering.

The voice of my sweet Bella pulls me out from my little trance.

"Oh, Edward"-she was crying again.

"What's wrong?"- "_Please, love, don't cry. I can't stand it"_ I thought, desperate to find some way to comfort her.

Then, she hugged me tightly, wrapping her arms around my neck. To me, this means acceptance and trust; with this hug, my fear to be rejected by my nature disappear.

"Is it really sick for me to be happy right now?"- She asks me, her voice breaking twice for the emotion.

"_Happy? Did she just say happy? Of course there was happiness in this moment"_ the emotion keep me from talking so, I pulled her tighter against my chest, in reflex of her emotion. But also felt that if I let go, I would lose her again.

"I know exactly what you mean"- I whisperer as soon as I recover my voice-"But we have lots of reasons to be happy. For one, we're alive"

It might be foolish of me, but I still felt the need to discuss and clarify everything with her so I could be sure that she still feeling like I do, that she steel being mine; to let my hopes and dreams return completely.

"Yes. That's a good one"

"And together"-I added, trying to gain a little confidence, to make sure that she was as happy as me to be together again; that she still wanted me, even a little. I was trying to get some hope.

When she just nodding without saying anything else, my breathing quickened and I felt a little twinge of fear that wasn't nice. But I knew that this was going to be difficult, and I also knew that I would do anything to earn her forgiveness, to be accepted again.

"And with any luck, we'll still be alive tomorrow"- If everything still like this, and no one try something against Bella, there was a pretty good chance.

"Hopefully"- she said uneasily

"The outlook is quite good. I'll see Jasper in less than twenty-four hours"

I turn to see her doubting, and she showed me the vision of Carlisle, Esme and Jasper in the Seattle airport, welcoming us.

I felt the look of Bella in me and turn to see her. While examining her face, I realized the extent that my actions had caused in her. She was paler, thinner that I remembered and very, very tired "_God, for how much pain I put her through?"_

"You look so tired"- I said, tracing very softly the circles under her beautiful eyes with my fingertips.

"And you look thirsty"- She noticed, as she trail her fingertips the same way I do.

I shrugged "It's nothing"

"Are you sure? I could sit with Alice"- She offered, but her eyes betray her. She wanted to be apart from me as much as I wanted to let her go.

"Don't be ridiculous"- And then I sighed because I knew she'll ask for an explanation and I didn't know how to tell her…how to explain her the change in me-"I've never been in better control of that side of my nature than right now"

The truth was that, although I felt the familiar burning in my throat there wasn't poison in my mouth, despite the fact that few hours before it had been a little bit. Apparently, the fact of her definitely loss made me aware of the amount of pain it would cause, and my body had stopped responding to her scent. Now I could be totally proud of myself because my love for her had exterminated the monster in me. I knew that never again I would experiment the thirst of her blood like before.

We remain this way so long. I was trying to memorize her face; wishing the best but prepared for the worst because, if she asks me to leave, I'll do it for her. She seemed to be doing the same thing with my face.

Meanwhile, Alice and I discuss the best way to return home because there were lots of things to be observed, mostly Bella's needs that were my number one priority. We discussed the possibility to stay in Rome for Bella, so she could rest and eat something, but everything would depend on what happened on the trip over there. We also conclude that we need a car to get there because Bella didn't seem able to stay awake any longer.

As I continued watching Bella's face, I couldn't contain myself and lined to gently kiss her hair, her forehead, her little nose. With that old satisfaction feeling every time my lips touched her. At least I still had it in my favor.

Suddenly, Alice and I heard steps approaching for the other side of the door and immediately become alert "_How I hate they hide their thoughts like that!"_ I thought a little angry feeling useless. I felt Bella cringing in my chest as Alec trespass the doors and my need to get her out of there became urgent.

"You're free to leave now. We ask that you don't linger in the city"

"That won't be a problem"

He smile and disappear again.

When Gianna give the sings for us to leave, Alice "saw" that her future wasn't promising and that it wasn't long. She couldn't help a dark look to her, wishing she'll find a way to change her future.

We crossed the darkened city while the family celebrations became much less familiar. Curiously, the older ones were more ridiculous then the little ones as wearing black cloaks and plastic fangs. Clearly, this had its advantages because I didn't draw attention.

"_Edward? I'll collect the bags and get a car. I wait you outside"_ Alice told me as she disappeared from our side.

"Where's Alice?"- Bella whispered suddenly filled with panic.

"She went to retrieve your bags from where she stashed them this morning"

"She's stealing a car, too, isn't she?"

"_Always so perceptive"_-"No till we're outside"- I said with a big smile.

As we continue walking I could see how she was so spent so, I wound my arm around her waist supporting most of her weight, wishing I could carry her so she could sleep "_She need it so much"_ But I couldn't, we shouldn't draw attention.

We arrived at the entrance and Alice was waiting for us there, inside a car near the door. I opened the back door and helped Bella get inside, sliding behind her. I wasn't ready to let her go.

I put myself in a way so Bella could lean against me and feel comfortable enough to sleep; wrapping her in the cloak again, hugging her tightly.

"I'm sorry"- Alice said gesturing vaguely to the dashboard-"There wasn't much to choose from"

"It's fine, Alice"-I said grinning. After all, it wasn't as important compared with what we had to pass to get here-"They can't all be 911 Turbos"

"_Yes, it was amazing!"_ she thought with a sigh-"I may have to acquire one of those legally. It was fabulous"

"I'll get you one for Christmas"-I promise her quickly. Or perhaps before, as a small token of appreciation for returning me with Bella.

"Yellow"- She concluded "_Now I keep quiet, so you could enjoy the moment"_

I focused on Bella, feeling as she relaxed a bit in my arms and watching as sleep overtake her "_That's it, love. You need it so much…"_ It was a good time for that, we were no linger in danger and in our way home.

"You can sleep now, Bella"-I whispered in her ear when I realized that she was fighting against her need for sleep-"It's over"

"I don't want to sleep. I'm not tired"

"_Oh, Bella. You shouldn't lie, is not your thing" _I thought as I press my lips to the hollow under my ear. Encouraged her-"Try"

And in response, she shook her head and I sigh.

"You're still just as stubborn"

And how! Surprisingly, she still awake when we arrived at Florence airport, despite the fact that Alice and I remain quiet in the hope that she'll sleep.

We boarded a plane to Rome and, as Bella were still awake and unwilling to rest or eat, we took a flight to Atlanta.

Cool of in those first class seats, I hopped that Bella sleep a little; it was beginning to scare me a little her lack of sleep. But Bella…well, she's completely stubborn and, to stay awake, she drank Coke like for 10 persons.

"Bella…"-I said disapprovingly, fixing my eyes on her. "_You know perfectly well your low resistance to caffeine. You need to rest!"_

"I don't want to sleep. If I close my eyes now, I'll see things I don't want to see. I'll have nightmares"

I was about to answer when I decided that it was better to remain silent. What kind of reunion this would be if the first thing I done was discuss nonsense? Besides, I was pretty sure that when she said "things I don't want to see" she referred the Voulturis; I would also have nightmares with them, if I were able to sleep.

So, I content myself by hugging her again during the entire flight. Tracing her face over and over again gently with my fingers, while she did the same with me. Blocking the voices and thoughts around me to fully enjoy the moment; but also to provide some privacy for Alice, who was behind us talking animatedly with Jasper. Allowing myself, occasionally, kissing her hair, her forehead, her delicate and aromatic wrists, but never her lips, for that, first we had to talk; she had to know the truth.

When we did the connection from Atlanta to Seattle, Bella still awake. But, despite the caffeine in her system, as we leave the last plane she was more asleep than awake.

While we were passing through the metal detector, the vision that Alice shown me in Volterra was in front of my eyes. There were Carlisle, Esme and Jasper. The latter was rapidly approaching to Alice.

Once again, I close my mind to give them privacy. I went to my parents, with Bella safely between my arms. Esme came up and hugged her fiercely.

"Thank you so much"-she whispered in her ear.

Carlisle thoughts showed his relief at seeing me alive and with Bella at my side, but also the intensity of his love and concern for us.

Now less than ever I deserved the love of this people. But I would do everything possible to not make them suffer like this again.

Esme released Bella and throw herself into my arms, or arm I should say because, while I was hugging her with one arm, with the other held tightly Bella tightly against me.

"You will never put me through that again"

"Sorry, mom. You know that I had to. But I promise not to do it again"-"_At least not for now"_ Knowing that I would as soon as Bella die, in many, many years.

"Thank you, Bella"- Carlisle said when he was able to talk and walk again-"We owe you"

"Hardly"- My angel answered. But I didn't know how she does it because now, I was practically carrying her. I could have sworn she was asleep.

"She's dead on her feet"- My mother scolded me with a look that scared me a little-"Let's get her home"

I was about to take her in my arms when Esme stopped me "_There are too many people, son"_ And we carried her to the parking lot. Funny thing is that in humans, despite being asleep, they can walk if they are supported.

When we got to the car, Emmet and Rosalie were there, and she screaming for my forgiveness in her head but, how to forgive her? She had been taking lightly my love for Bella and made me believe that she was DEAD! Like everything to Rosalie, it was for her; to her life would be the same again; regardless mine or Bella's suffering.

"Don't"- Esme asked me taking my arm- "She feels awful"

"She should"- I reply coldly.

"It's not her fault"-Bella intervened "_that is not her fault?! We almost killed by her recklessness Bella!!!"_

"Let her make amends"-Esme continued _"Is your sister, please Edward"_-"We'll ride with Alice and Jasper"

It wasn't such a good idea to travel with Rosalie; I didn't feel able to control myself if she makes me mad. My patience with her had been exhausted.

"Please, Edward"-Bella ask me and, with a sigh, I gave in. they were right, she was my sister and eventually, I would forgive her.

I fit her in the car again, and this time she dropped her head on my chest, surrendered to her sleep need. I just embraced her tightly.

"Edward"-Rosalie began.

"I know"-I answered sharply. I didn't want to talk to her; I wasn't ready to forgive her yet.

"Bella?"

"No! Let her sleep"- But it was too late…

"Yes, Rosalie?"-Bella asked, lifting her head slightly with open eyes, full of surprise.

"I'm so very sorry, Bella. I feel wretched about every part of this, and so grateful that you were brave enough to save my brother after what I did. Please, say you'll forgive me"

Well, that seems almost an apology and, surprisingly, she was sincere although the words sounded forced.

Of course, Bella forgave her and assume the guilt of everything, even for Rosalie's mistake! "_My Bella, always so kind and ready to blame herself for everything"_

"Let her sleep"- I insisted and Bella lean her head against my chest again, defeated by the sleep.

The car was launched and we made the distance between Seattle and Forks in half the time.

Despite the fact that both of them wanted to talk with me, I said no; all I wanted was to see Bella sleep, enjoy every time she was in my arms.

About half an hour after falling asleep, Bella hugged me tightly, whispering my name. I hold her closer, containing the snobs. Happily seeing her sleep peaceful and happily in my arms.

When we get her home, it was about 1 pm and Charlie was mad of concern for her girl. As he heard the car stop in front of his home, relief was his body.

"Wait here. This won't be pleasant and I need to go home"

"Don't worry, bro. We're here"-Emmet told me with a small smile.

I nodded once, opened the door and left the car very carefully, trying not to move my Bella, not to wake her.

Of course, Charlie left his house and, as he saw me, his thoughts turn wild. I just get a glimpse of his gun and a tremendous desire to kill me, as well as concern and anxiety for his daughter.

"Bella"-He shouted.

"Charlie"-She mumbled still sleepy "_No, she need to sleep…"_

"Shh"-I whispered onto her ear-"It's okay; you're home and safe. Just sleep"

We found Charlie on the porch.

"I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here"- Charlie said gesticulating wildly with his hands.

"Stop it, Dad"-Bella groaned but he didn't hear her; he was too busy thinking on the best reason to arrest me.

"What's wrong with her?"- He asked, a little more calm when he saw the face of Bella.

"She's just very tired; Charlie"-I assured him-"Please let her rest"

"Don't tell me what to do!"-He yelled "_Ok, bad idea"_ Then, he realized that Bella was in my arms and the little remains of calm vanished completely-"Give her to me. Get your hand off her!"-He told me and tending his arms to Bella.

I sigh and tried to give her to him, fearing both, the separation and that Charlie didn't hold her weight. Then, Bella clung to me with amazing strength. Charlie realized and pulls one of her arms.

"Cut it out, Dad. Be mad at me"

"You bet I will be. Get inside"

"Kay, let me down"-Bella asked me while trying to stand up.

I didn't want to release her, she was too tired and wouldn't be able to hold up, but I couldn't retain her by force. So, I set her on her feet and let my arms outstretched, ready to catch her; she tried to take a step but just managed to lose balance and rushed forward.

I caught her quickly while Charlie was approaching.

"Just let me get her upstairs"-I begged, looking into his eyes-"Then I'll leave"- I don't know exactly what he saw in my eyes but nodded silently and let me pass.

"No"-My Bella cried full with panic, clinging to me with renewed strength.

"I won't be far"- I promised in a whisper in her ear while I walked into her house, with Charlie stuck to my steps.


	17. Chapter 16 CONSEQUENCES

Hello lovely readers!!!!  
As promised, here's the next chapter.  
In this one, Edward lose some of his selfcontrol and say some...uh...kind of bad words, at least for him, but he's very upset, keep that in mind ok?  
The next chapter is...(drums playing LOL) "THE TRUTH" and we all know what that's mean, right??? (winks) It should be up on Friday or Saturday morning tops...  
I like to specially thanks to "demelza12" for her awsome support.  
Something else, I re-read like 10 time this one but if you notice something wrong (spelling, tenses, etc) please, let me know, that way I can improve my skills.  
Sorry it's not very long, but the next one will be (believe me, way too long!!!! LOL)  
As always, if you feel like it, review and let me know what you think.  
Enjoy your reading!!!

**DICLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING, BUT I WOULD LOVE TO lol**

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Chapter 16

**CONSEQUENCES**

I place Bella gently in her bed and drop her fingers of mi shirt, with every fiber of myself aching for the imminent separation.

"_Edward"_ She mumbled softly as she turned to her side. I left the room closing the door behind me.

While we're getting down, Charlie was thinking the best way to "talk" to me. So, when we get down, I turn to saw him.

"I don't know what happened and I don't want to know"-he said between clenched teeth in a whisper fill with anger-"but I absolutely forbid you to be close to my daughter. You've done too much damage!"

"_God, Charlie! Believe me, I know!"_ I stare at him, I knew I deserved it, and I would bear all the words and actions from Charlie against me without complain. I had hurt his little girl and I deserve all his bitterness and hatred.

"I will arrest you myself if I see you around here again! Do you understand me?"

Well, that only depend on Bella, if she decided to forgive me then, there wouldn't be nothing or no one to keep me away from her.

"I'm sorry, Charlie"-I replied quietly because, after all, this was entirely my fault. I had to bear the consequences of my actions-"I know I deserve everything you've said and I accept it. But the only one with the power to push me away from here is Bella"

"How dare you idiot!"-Charlie shouted his face purple. He was so angry that his heart beat was too high and I was afraid that something happened to him. So, I decided that this "talking" would take place if Bella accepted me back. Meanwhile, I won't discuss anymore-"Get out of here right now asshole! And I forbid you set foot in this house again!"

I was so immersed in my thoughts that I didn't realized that Emmet and Rosalie wasn't the ones in there. As I climb to the car, I notice that there were Alice and Jasper waiting for me.

"I'm sorry, Edward, but we need to talk before you get back with her, its important"- She tell me quite serious while Jasper was beginning to move away from her home.

"Alice, what's happening?"-I asked worried.

"First of all, tell me, are you going to leave again?"

"Of course not!"-Shuddering at the thought-"Never again! But all depends on Bella"

"I wouldn't worry too much"-She said with a small smile, but before I could say anything, she starts talking-"However. Do you want to know what Bella told me when I arrived? You won't like it but I promised you an explanation"

"_What are you talking about? Explanation about what?"_ then, I remember what she told me when we were following Jane and nodded.

"Ok then. As you know, Victoria has been stalking Bella but that's not everything. Bella found this out less than a month ago, when she ran into Laurent's path…"

"Laurent? Wasn't he at…"-I started, but immediately shut up at the menacing glare of Alice.

"Laurent, yes. Bella was alone wondering in the woods when he found her. When she ask him what he was doing here, he replied that a favor for Victoria"

"That fucking bastard!"-I said; mi hands in tight fists, full of anger.

"But that' not the worst part"-I look up at her intensely-"The worst thing is that…"-she hesitated-"a pack of werewolves saved her to be annihilated"

I didn't answer, I couldn't; I was so angry that I couldn't talk. I would kill him with my own hands.

"He wanted to…"-I swallow before continue, even said that word cause me a deep pain and, I was very angry-"kill her?"

Alice just nodded.

I would dismember him myself and then, I would send him back to the hell he came from. "_Wait a minute…"_

"A pack of werewolves saved her?"

"Yes, Edward. And…"- she hesitated again and my anxiety grew more and more "_And? What?"_ I thought nervous.

"Alice! Spit it out!"- I told her, maybe a little too loud.

"Well, his best friend is one of those werewolves"-She said in a whisper and my eyes went wide open in shock. Alice must be kidding!

"Who is he?"-I managed to say.

"Jacob Black. I saw him with my own eyes"-I toy the name a little, it sounds quite familiar…

"_He was the same boy who tells Bella the truth about us! The grand-grandson of Ephraim Black"_ Definitely Bella was a danger magnet.

"Since how does this happen?"-It couldn't be long. Six months? A little more maybe.

"A few weeks"-She said in a lower whisper.

"A FEW WEEKS?! WHAT?"- This was worst than I thought. Even mature, THESE werewolves were quite fickle "_What's wrong with Bella?"_

The car went quiet then.

"Thank you Alice"-I said from my heart, breaking the silence-"For everything. Really, thank you"

"You're welcome, Edward"-she said tenderly, squeezing my hand-"I know that you would do the same for me"

"Always little sis"-I assured her tenderly.

We arrived at the house then and Alice and Jasper went in first, while I was preparing.

When I went there, all remained silent and their eyes nailed to me. I took a big breath and began to speak.

"I'm so sorry"-I said, looking at everyone in the eye-"I regret the harm I have caused you with my decision and I will try to compensate somehow. What happened was because my stupidity and selfishness…"

I lost the thread of my thoughts as the snobs began to gush from my chest. I cried for my pain, for their pain, but especially for the pain that my stubbornness caused to my poor Bella.

Some arms suddenly embrace me, but when I tried to resist, the arms held me stronger and the thoughts of Carlisle broke into my mind.

"_Shh, son. It's okay. Everything will be just fine"_

I hugged my father and clung tightly to him while he whispered in my ear. Then I had a flash back.

I was little, I wouldn't be more than 8 or 9 years old, and I had done something terrible to one of my father belongings. I was sitting in a corner of my room, waiting for his arrive. When the door opened and my father appeared, his expression was furious, but as soon as he saw me curled up in a corner, scared to death, waiting for my scolding, his expression softened and relaxed.

He walks towards me and took me in his arms, hugging me tightly, while I cried in his shoulder and he assured me that, no matter what, he would always love me.

That's when Carlisle's voice brought me back.

"It's alright, son, every thing's okay. I will always support you, no matter what. You know that I love you"

I embrace him a little tighter and stay like that for a while, until the sobbing ceased. During that time, I realized the amazing family that I had, and thank the heavens for that.

When we parted and turn around no one was there, and I felt a little embarrassed for behaving like a little kid.

"Better son?"

"Yes dad, thank you. For everything; and… I love you too"

"I know, son" he answer me grinning-"Now, it's time for you to go and fix this mess. We'll be here when you come back"

"Thank you. But first, I think I need a shower. Then I leave"-And we hugged one last time.

"Good luck, son!"

I went to my room and bathe thoroughly; after all, I had almost three months without doing it. I got clean clothes and left the house, eager to return to Bella, getting ready for whatever came along.

It was late in the afternoon when I get into Bella's room. I sat in the rocking chair and watch my sleeping angel. Almost an hour later, I had to hide in the closet since Charlie came to check on her. When he saw his child peacefully fast asleep, he sigh with satisfaction and left closing the door gently.

He wouldn't return until the following morning, he wanted Bella to rest as much as I do.

She slept quietly until about ten at night, when she began to spin violently in bed.

"Edward, where are you Edward? Don't leave me…please…no"-Grumbled frantically, with pain and anguish in her soft voice while searching frantically around with her hands.

My heart broke into a thousand pieces and I quickly came to her, kneeling at her side and taking one of her hands in both of mine.

"I'm here, love. Shh, I will never leave you"-I said trying to reassure her-"It's okay sweetheart"

Suddenly, she opened her eyes and stare at me. When I held her gaze, I realize she wasn't really awake.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love. I'm here."

She hugged me and pulled me with her to bed. I lay down beside her and hugged her tightly, while she laid her head on my chest and one of her arms clung tightly to me.

She relaxed and sighed softly, sleeping deeply again.

I stay like that, occasionally stroking gently her silky hair, humming her lullaby; kissing the top of her head or burying my face in her soft hair, drowning in its sweet, strawberry scent.

Once again I cry without tears, grateful to have her again in my arms, begging for her to accept me again. Waiting for her to awake.


	18. Chapter 17 THE TRUTH

Hello lovely readers!!!  
So, here it is!!! The most expected chapter of the story!!!! Any guess??? LOL  
It IS actually long!!! About 13 pages in my computer!!!! (Loss of vocabulary in here!!)  
Hmm...some notes:  
The thoughts expressed in here (_italics ones)_ are exclusively Edward's. It might be obvious, but just in case...  
Oh, try to imagine some sarcasm in those thoughts, and maybe some anger. We all know how Edward is with himself...  
Also, some parts might seem weird, but I swear in spanish sould a world better. In case you didn't know (and I'm almos sure you don't) I write all of my stuff first in spanish and then translate them, that's why, some thoughts are weird, you know, colloquial words and phrases that change from place to place; but I tried my best to adjust...  
Listen to the song "It's True" from the BackStreet Boys album Black and Blue while you're reading this, the song inspired the chapter

As always, please review!!! They help me to improve my english and made me happy =)

**DISCLAIMER: TWILIGHT AND ALL ITS CHARACTERS BELONG TO THE WONDERFUL STEPHANIE. **

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Chapter 17

**THE TRUTH**

I heard her breathing changing, more lightly now while she moves slightly in my arms.

I was pretty sure that she was about to get up, so I give her a soft kiss on the forehead, longing to see her sweet eyes again.

She sighs and opened her eyes.

"Oh"-She gasped, throwing her fist over her eyes.

That's a strange reaction. "_Did I scare her? Didn't she want me here? Do I have the opportunity to talk to her? To tell her that I love her? Ask her to forgive me and accept me again?"_

"Did I frighten you?"-I asked quietly, tilting my face towards her, full of anxiety.

"Oh, crap"

"What's wrong, Bella?"

Apparently, my poor Bella seemed to be under the impression that she was dead or asleep because, only that way, I could and would want to be with her.

I cursed me a thousand times for my stupidity. The pain I had caused her was much deeper than I imagine it and I wondered that, if one day, I would come to know it completely.

However, as much as I tried to explain her, she seems not to understand or believe me; it was then when I remembered: a human need sleep to put order and give meaning to the experiences and knowledge gained during the day and, whit sleep deprivation, like the one Bella impose herself last night, the memories can be chaotic and confusing.

"_I would have to explain everything from the beginning"_ I thought with a sigh.

When Bella return to my gaze, I could see her eyes shining in understanding as the memories were becoming increasingly strong. And then, her skin colored in that soft pink color that made my heart sing. She knew she was awake, and she knew I was there with her. Now, I just needed to convince her to forgive me and accept me back "_Ha! The easiest thing in the world!!!"_ I thought with sarcasm.

"What time is it? How long I been sleeping?"

"It's just after one in the morning. So, about fourteen hours"

"Charlie?"

"Sleeping"-_"And he could cause us some problems if this end well"_ I thought frowning-"You should probably know that I'm braking the rules right now. Well, not technically, since he said I was never walk through his door again, and I came in the window… But, still, the intent was clear"

"Charlie banned you from the house?"

"Did you expect anything else?"-"'_I'll banned myself from the house for all I pain I put you through"_

A very weird expression appeared in her face, but before I could decipher it, the pain made his way to replace it.

"What's the story?"

"What do you mean?"-I burn in desire to clarify our situation. The anxiety oppressing my chest was getting stronger, but I didn't want to pressure her. From now on, everything would be her way.

"What am I telling Charlie? What's my excuse for disappearing for… how long I was gone, anyway?"

"Just three days"-I tightened my eyes, remembering her face; she was so lovely when she was nervous. Besides, I was taken out of guard, for the entire questioning I was expecting to answer tonight, this wasn't one of them but of course, when does Bella had done something I expected?

"_Always took me by surprise!_" I thought smiling-"Actually, I was hoping you might have a good explanation. I've got nothing"

"Fabulous"-she groaned and I had to contain a chuckle. How I missed all this.

"Well, maybe Alice will come up with something"-I offered, trying to comfort her.

"So"-she began and my breath quickened waiting for her questions-"What have you been doing up until three days ago?"

"_Shit! What do I tell her now?"_ Knowing her, if I tell her I was all alone, twisted in pain and suffering, she was bound to feel bad for me and we were never going to resolve this. On the other hand, if I tell her that I was trying to hunt down Victoria, she will have a panic attack.

"Nothing terribly exciting"-I said fatly.

"Of course not"-She mumble, making a very strange but lovely face.

"Why are you making that face?"-I had to ask to hide a chuckle.

"Well…"-She said pensive-"If you were, after all, just a dream, that's exactly the kind of thing you would say. My imagination must be used up"

"Ah, Bella" I sighed very annoyed. It was clear that I would have to say something more transcendental, but what?

"If I tell you, will you finally believe that you're not having a nightmare?"- I said, trying to joke a little, but basically, I needed to be sure that she didn't look me like a monster.

"Nightmare!"-She repeated scornfully and it relieves my anxiety a bit-"Maybe. If you tell me"

"I was…"-"_Now what? I promise her an explanation, but I don't know which one!"_ It seems to me that, if I told her the part of my suffering worthless live, I would be blackmailing her. Therefore, I decided to go to my failed tracking, at least I might skip some things-"hunting"

"Is that the best you can do? That definitely doesn't prove I'm awake"

"_Why you get this stubborn?"_ But in the end, her stubbornness was one of the many qualities that made me fell in love with her.

"I wasn't hunting for food…"-I said slowly, choosing my every word very carefully-"I was actually trying my hand at…tracking. I'm not very good at it"

"What were you tracking?"-That was Bella like; always asking the wrong question, or maybe the acutely ones and latest I wanted her to ask.

"Nothing of consequence"- I didn't know if it was the best of ideas to tell her that who I was trying to locate was Victoria. And it made me insanely furious the mere fact of thinking about that woman.

"I don't understand"-I could see in her eyes that she really don't understand me and I decided that it was time to clear things up and stop stalling.

"I…"-started. I had to start since all this was my fault and it was the one and only right thing to do but, to do so, I had to start from the beginning.

I took a deep breath and then I got nervous, I completely had to open my mind and heart, to be totally hones to earn her forgiveness-"I owe you an apology-"_Just an apology? I think you owe even more than your own life, Edward!"_-"No, of course I owe you much, much more than that. But you have to know that I had no idea…"- "_What? The pain you cause her? Or the dangers you leave her go through alone?"_- "I didn't realize the mess I was leaving behind. I thought it was safe for you here"-"_Hurting, yes. But able to heal!!!"_-"So safe… I had no idea that Victoria would come back...

"I'll admit, when I saw her that one time, I was paying much more attention to James's thoughts. But I just didn't see that she had this kind of response in her. That she even had such a tie to him. I think I realize why now…"-"_The hard way, like everything else in my life"_-"she was so sure of him, the thought of him failing…"-Stupid if you ask me, we were seven against them both "_What were they thinking?"_-"never occurred to her. It was her overconfidence that clouded her feelings about him-that kept me for seeing the depth of them, the bond there"-Though, now that I thought about it, it was very obvious the bond between them, but I was too worried about Bella to give the right amount to importance to that

"Not that there's any excuse for what I left you to face. When I heard what you told Alice-what she saw herself-when I realized that you had to put your life in the hands of werewolves, immature, volatile"-"_And of only a few weeks old werewolves!"_-"The worst thing out there besides Victoria…"-And then I couldn't continue because the imagines of everything that could have happened to Bella crowded in my mind, causing me to shiver from the depths of my being. Deep breathing, trying to remove those images from my head, I was able to calm a little

"Please"-I said slowly, from the bottom of my heart, begging for her forgiveness and understanding-"know that I had no idea of any of this. I feel sick, sick to my core, even now, when I can see and feel you safe in my arms"-And tightened a little my arms around her-"I am the most miserable excuse for-"

"Stop"-She interrupted me and my heart broke into a thousand pieces in my chest while my breathing stopped by the pain of her rejection.

I had hurt her so much that, apparently, she didn't wanted to keep listen my pathetic attempts to apologize.

"Edward"-She said with sadness, but I couldn't help the shiver that my name caused from her lips-"This has to stop now"-_"I knew it!"_ Now it was her turn to said goodbye to me and I couldn't do more than accept it; but I still had one more thing to say, a last hope of being forgiven-"You can't think about things that way. You can't let this…this guilt…rule your life"

"_Guilt? What is she talking about?"_

"You can't take responsibility for the things that happen to me here. None of it is your fault,"-This woman was going to made me crazy! If I had not gone, I wouldn't have caused her so much pain and had been here to protect her; she wouldn't have had to seek refuge with the wolves. But at least I had hope, she wasn't asking me to leave after all-"it's just part of how life is for me. So, if I trip in front of a bus or whatever it is next time, you have to realize that it's not your job to take the blame"

"_Blame? The guilt thing again?"_

"You can't just go running off to Italy because you feel bad that you didn't save me"-Now it looked clear. But how it was possible that she might think _that_?!-"Even if I had jumped off that cliff to die, that would have been my choice, and not your fault"-I needed to stop her but I couldn't find my voice; I was confused and hurt by the way she saw my pain-"I know it's your…your nature to shoulder the blame for everything, but you really can't let that make you go to such extremes! It's very irresponsible-think of Esme and Carlisle and-"

Then she paused, and the pain in her eyes helped me to regain my voice.

"Isabella Marie Swan"-I said in a whisper, not knowing what in that hell had made her believe that about me-"Do you believe that I asked the Volturi to kill me because I felt guilty?"-I would have expected "crazed by the pain" or "desperate" even also "the longing for the reunion" but NOT guilty!

"Didn't you?"-She asked perplexed.

"Feel guilty? Intensely so"-"_Because it was entirely my fault! Because I hurt you so deeply that you prefer to end your life than keep living it!"_-"More than you can comprehend"

"Then… what are you saying? I don't understand"-

"_Obviously not…Guilty!"_ I thought with sarcasm.

"Bella, I went to the Volturi because I thought you were dead. Even if I'd had no hand in your death"- The memories of the pain and desolation makes me shudder and leave me unable to speak. I had to take a deep breath to shake those memories once more-"even if it wasn't my fault, I would have gone to Italy. Obviously, I should have been more careful-I should have spoken to Alice"-Although, this may not happened. There were only two chances. First: to come back here to her asking for forgiveness I didn't deserve and we could have spared us the danger of death or; chance two: When I knew that she remained alive and safe, I would have returned to my nothingness for her to remain that way-"directly, rather than accepting it secondhand from Rosalie. But, really, what was I supposed to think when the boy said Charlie was at the funeral? What are the odds?"

The last sentence abruptly made me think about the similarities in our lives and the romantic literature that I had complained so much about. Apparently, life is like a blank book in which each one writes their own story.

"But I still don't understand"-Bella said, pulling me out from my self-absorption-"That's my whole point… So what?"

"Excuse me?"-It was me the one didn't understand this time.

"So what if I was dead?"

What was she talking about? Of course I would follow her as soon as I could because life would have lost its meaning! I thought we already had discussed this, right? "_Had she forgotten?"_

"Don't you remember anything I told you before?"-I said trying my best to hide my pain, again…

"I remember everything that you told me"-She said, with her voice and eyes full with pain. And then, the truth hit me like a ton of bricks, leaving me breathless. "_Holly God! She truly believed that I don't love her anymore! That I act driven by guilt and not for the pain of losing her!"_

"Bella"-I said in a whisper, putting my finger lightly against her lips, dying inside for what I did because, it wasn't only the pain for the loss, but because I made her believe that she wasn't enough for me when in reality it was _me_ who was not enough for _HER_-"you seem to be under a misapprehension"-I said softly and close my eyes, incredulous of my "skill" to lie and her ridiculous ability to believe me. This was the biggest misunderstanding in history! overshadowed only by my stupidity-"I thought I'd explained it clearly before. Bella, _I can't live in a world where you don't exist_"

"I am…Confused"

Of course she was confused! Thanks to all the crap that I had told her the day I left. The worst and biggest mistake in my entire existence.

"I'm a good liar, Bella, I have to be"

And then she froze, she wasn't even breathing and a deep pain expression gripped her face.

I saw, for the first time, some of the pain I had caused her. It was the worst thing I had seen in my life, and it was my fault! I had to remove that expression off her face, I couldn't stand it.

"Let me finish!"-I begged, shaking her a bit to relax her-"I'm a good liar, but still, for you to believe me so quickly"-The memory of her eyes, her pain came to me and I felt a sharp pain in my chest-"That was… excruciating"-But that wasn't everything. That terrible day, while I was carrying out the most stupid act of my life, I felt like I was slowly dying inside with each lie I said to her; the pain was so deep that was about to back down, to ask her to forget everything I said-"When we were in the forest, when I was telling you good bye-"

I didn't want to remember, but it was necessary. She needed to know the whole truth.

"You weren't going to let go"-I said in a whisper because the pain prevented me for talking louder-"I could see that"-although, in reality, it was much easier than I expected, that I wanted-"I didn't want to do it"-Every cell of my body refused to do so-"it felt like it would kill me to do it-bit I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought I'd moved on, so would you"

It was a remote hope, yes, but, to be honest, I didn't want it; I couldn't bear to imagine her with another man.

"A clean brake"-she whisper without moving her lips. May be she was starting to believe me.

"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! It thought it would be the next to impossible-that you would be so sure for the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head"-A seed that I hoped, wouldn't have deeply ingrained. A seed that I would take from the root-"I lied, and I am so sorry. Sorry because I hurt you"-More than I ever would have wished-"sorry because it was a worthless effort"-That tortured us both and almost killed us in the road-"Sorry that I couldn't protect you from what I am"-A deplorable and selfish being that the only thing it knows is to hurt you over and over again, in all the ways-"I lied to save you and it didn't work. I'm sorry"

As I spoke, curiosity and disbelief made their way through the layers of pain, until they reach the surface.

"But how could you believe me?"-Of the hundreds of things I've tried to convince her, she decides not to believe that I love her, that I didn't need her! I hoped that, in this matter, I had the same lucky and she believed me just as fast, but it was a vain hope because, after all, this was Bella who we were talking about-"After all the thousand times I've told you I love you, how could you let one word break your faith in me?"

It would have been more believable if _she_ would have told _me_ that she didn't want me anymore, because I was _NOT_ good for her. I was a monster who had committed many crimes in the past. But the worst in me, was the ability to hurt her; I had put her in danger of death countless times, but still, I had hurt her feelings even more times.

"I could see it in your eyes that you honestly believed that I didn't want you anymore"-_"I still do"_-"The most absurd, ridiculous concept! As if there were any way that I could exist without needing you!"

The truest of words had left my mouth without my permission in my eagerness to be honest, to convince her, to bring her back to me. But she said nothing remaining motionless, and honestly that was beginning to scare me.

"Bella"-I said with a sigh as I tried to relax her once more-"Really, what were you thinking!"-

In my mind, her silence had several meanings and none of them was nice:_ perhaps I had gone overboard; maybe she thought I was blackmailing her with my pain; maybe she was looking for the best way to throw me out of her house, her life, forever!!!_

Then, in a strange and unsuspected way, she starts to cry "_What the…?"_

"I knew it"-She sobbed-"I knew I was dreaming"

"You're impossible"-I said and a short laugh of frustration left my mouth. I hadn't met anyone as stubborn as she was-"How can I put this so that you'll believe me? You're not asleep, and you're not dead. I'm here, and I love you"-I knew I was breaking my promise to not to talk about my feelings to override her decision, but I seem that, as harder as I tried not to do so, it became more a necessity-"I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you"-of us and all our moments together-"seeing your face in my mind"-bit I hadn't done her justice, she was more beautiful in person that in my pathetic although perfect mind-"every second that I was away."-_"NO, to be honest, every minute of which I AM not with her, she is in my mind"_-"When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy"

She only shook her head and the little hope I still possessed collapsed.

"You don't believe me, do you?"-I whispered with a dreadful fear rooted in my stomach. I didn't know what I'll do if she wouldn't believe me. I knew that if she believed me but she still asked me to go, I'll try to do it. But if she didn't hear the truth of my words and believed it, my life would end completely-"Why can you believe the lie, but not the truth?"

"It never made sense for you to love me"

"_That it never made sense for me to love her? Which has never had sense was that someone so good, adorable, loving, selfless fell in love with someone like me. After all what I had done to her, she still believed that she wasn't good or enough for me. What is wrong with her?"_ Does she ever going to see herself clearly?

Then, I decided that I had to do something to show her that this was real. To convince her how much I loved her and needed her to keep existing. That's when the best of ideas came to my mind, because it was something I wanted to do since I had her back in my arms, since the dreadful day when I left her. I would kiss her.

That was an excellent idea but I didn't know how she would take it, her attitude had been hesitant and confused since we reunited. Besides that, that was coaxing her decision and that wasn't fair, but I couldn't find another way to convince her.

"I'll prove you're awake"-I told her, holding her delicately but firmly her head on my hands.

I felt her struggling slightly, but the warmth of her body, the sight of her lips, made me impossible to stop.

"Please, don't"-Her whisper full of despair helped me regain control, and I stopped.

"Why not?"- I think I knew the reason, but I needed her to say it.

For my part, I knew that by touching her lips with mine, it would be totally impossible for me to leave her side even if she wanted; the pain would be worst than before.

The answer she gave me was the most ridiculous and painful of all because, after all what's been said between us in this room, she remained under the absurd idea that I would leave her; that I only remained here for pity, for guilt, and probably, she could even believe that I was playing with her.

I knew it was time to quit playing, to clarify the most painful issue for me. Although she didn't believe me, I had spoken from my heart: my feelings, guilt, fears and mistakes. Now was her turn, she had to tell me whether my poor decisions had changed her feelings towards me, whether I had taken her too far and she had reached her limit. I didn't want to, but I knew I needed to do so.

I pulled back an inch to see her entire face and to evaluate her reactions. Only then, I would know the truth.

"Yesterday, when I would touch you, you were so…hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same. I need to know why. Is it because I'm too late? Because I've hurt you too much? Because you have moved on, as I meant for you? That would be…"-Unbearable, deeply painful, the end of my existence-"quite fair. I won't contest your decision."-Because at the end, I had caused this-"So don't try to spare my feelings, please-just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I've done to you. Can you?"

"What kind of an idiotic question is that?"

"_I'm sorry, Bella, but we're not going to play evasive"_-"Just answer it. Please"- I pressed.

But she didn't answer immediately and, every minute that passed, made that an awful pain and fear grow quickly inside me since, I couldn't even get some response in her face or her eyes.

"The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you"-She said forcefully. When I heard those words, I release my breath-which I wasn't know I was keeping- and my breathing quickened.

She continued talking but I no longer heard "_She loved me! She still loves me! After all the damage, she remains being MY Bella!"_

"That's all I needed to hear"

And I kissed her. I was planning to do it the same way as always, soft and gentle, very controlled but at the moment our lips met, I lost control over my emotions, over my body. The sensations that run all over my body were so intense and powerful that I get lost in them.

I leaned over her, so close that I could feel her warmth body against mine, and the passion that was missing for so long, returned to me with an amazing strength, and I had to fight it not to lose control completely.

I traced her face with my fingers, memorizing every line, every curve, and the amazing softness of her skin. Feeling her hair; drowning in her scent.

When I felt her hands, soft and tender in my face, the emotion overcame me and whispered her name, full of love, desire, joy.

Then I realized that her heart was beating too fast, and violently seeking for air. Reluctant, I pulled away from her and, as I didn't wanted to lose the contact, I lay my head over her chest; listening to her crazy heartbeat, feeling complete again, at home.

Crazy thing it seemed that my body was _programmed_ to be extremely careful with her because, despite my lack of control, she didn't suffer any damage.

After a few moments, I remembered something more that I wanted to tell her, something mundane but important. Now it seemed unnecessary to me because she loved me, but still, I wanted to do it.

"By the way. I'm not leaving you"-I said almost playfully expecting her to laugh at my ridiculous and unnecessary statement, but she said nothing. There was not response, I mean, not even a nod with her head!

My happiness and tranquility vanished almost completely, and the fear returned to me. Apparently, the kiss, the most amazing kiss between us didn't have the same implications for her than for me.

I lift my face to lock my gaze in hers.

"I'm not going anywhere. Not without you."-Because I knew that, when the time to leave came, I would do everything to bring her with me.

When I began to tell her the reasons which had lead my departure, I found them even more ridiculous than before. Those reasons that once had seemed so powerful now were completely meaningless.

"What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I'll never be strong enough to leave again"-Then, in what probably was a crazy lapse, I remembered all the dangers that lurked her, and I decided to tease her with them, to lighten the atmosphere or so I thought. They were problems quite serious, but I would be here forever so nothing would happen to my angel-"I have too many excuses to stay-thank heaven for that! It seems you can't be safe, no matter how many miles I put between us."-I finish smirking.

But apparently, my little joke was not funny because the look she gave me was somewhat incredulous and angry.

"Don't promise me anything"- She whispered

The disbelief in her words, in her voice hurt me really deeply. The pain was followed by anger at feeling betrayed "_I thought we had pass this part!"_

"You think I'm lying to you now?"-I asked, barely controlling my angry.

Each and every one of her following words crossed me like knives, smashing me inside. My attempts seemed to be doomed to failure because Bella was still suspicious of me.

I recalled those firsts days, when I had wished with all my being to be worthy of her trust and, despite my bad behavior with her, she gave it to me without a thought, that was one of my most precious treasures and now I had completely lost it.

Then I thought that, without trust and confidence, any kind of relationship was doomed to fail, and this revelation only increased my pain and remorse to levels, that I was sure, no one had ever experienced.

I didn't know what else to do or say to make her understand, I felt alone and lost. Trying to find a way to save us, I remembered something I thought in the depths of my depression: if for some reason I came back, I would have begged all the necessary to be accepted again. And now it seems that it was my best option, and probably, the last one.

_**A/N:*All this went through his mind as he spoke with Bella***_

"It was only matter of time-and not much of it-before I showed up at your window and begged you to take me back. I'd be happy to beg now, if you'd like that"- I said desperate.

And of course, as it was expected, she thought I was joking, not even realizing the pain it caused me, the desperate state in which I was. But I wasn't going to complain in any way. I had caused her more pain than she was causing to me. With all and her skepticism I would beg her, a life time if that was necessary.

What I didn't know was where to start. There were too many things: feelings, actions, decisions to consider. Then, digging into my memories of our first day in our meadow gave me an idea: the things that were more difficult and complicated to express, at least for me, I had told her in metaphors that she seem to completely understand.

I made sure that I had all her attention and start talking.

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars-points of lights and reason…and then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone"-"_Or rather, when I leave you"_-"when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything"

I could see in her eyes that she seemed to believe me this time, although, she was still a little reluctant to my words.

"Your eyes will adjust"-she mumbled

"_Bella, please, I'm begging you, please, believe me!"_-"That's just the problem-they can't"

"What about your distractions?"

It would never cease to amaze me that Bella remember-and believe- all the lies I had told her that awful day. But that fact doesn't cease to grieve and enrage me. I laughed bitterly to her question, knowing that she would make one question after another, all of them just as painful and difficult to answer than the one before. But I would answer them; I would answer all her questions with my heart, with truth.

"Just part of the lie, love. There was not distraction from the…"-I struggled to find a word to describe properly the depth of my pain, loneliness and sadness-"the agony. My heart hasn't beat in almost ninety years, but this was different. It was like my heart was gone-like I was hollow. Like I'd left everything that was inside me here with you"

"That's funny"-She muttered.

"_Was she making fun of me? Of my pain?"_

"Funny?"-I asked in disbelieve

"I meant strange-I thought it was just me. Lots of pieces of me went missing, too. I haven't been able to really breathe in so long"-we both breathe together, deeply; it was so long since I felt such peace-"And my heart. That was definitely lost"

"_No, never"_ I closed my eyes and lay my ear over her heart again. Each one of its beats was a treasure for me; the most soothing and wonderful sound in my world.

I felt her head pressed against my hair and her deep breath; filling her lungs with my scent just as me with hers. A soft sigh left my lips. Apparently I was on the right track. _Finally!!!_

"Tracking wasn't a distraction then?"-She asked breaking the peaceful silence, and I knew perfectly well that she wanted to change the subject "_The truth, always the truth, Edward!"_

"No"-I sighed because that was _ANOTHER _awkward question-"That was never a distraction. It was an obligation"

"What does that mean?"

"_The truth, Edward!"_

"It means that, even though I never expected any danger from Victoria, I wasn´t going to let her get away with…"-"_What?"_ I couldn't tell her that Victoria had in her head all her personal information. That thanks to her, James had gone to her house and tricked her!-"Well,"-I left for the tangent hopping she won't ask about my motivations to track Victoria-"like I said, I was horrible at it. I trace her as far as Texas, but then I followed a false lead down to Brazil-"-And was then when that I realized that I was too confident in my ability-"and really she came here"-A menacing growl came out of my chest when I imagine that woman near my Bella-"I wasn't even In on the right continent! And all the while, worse that my worst fears-"

But then she interrupted me, giving me a terrible fright.

"You were hunting Victoria?"-She said almost screaming which obviously, almost awake Charlie.

I didn't answer until I made sure that her father went back to sleep deeply.

"Not well"-I was completely confused. Was she disappointed because I didn't catch her? Was she concerned for her safety? For Charlie's? For my own?-"But I'll do better this time. She won't be tainting perfectly good air by breathing in and out for much longer"

Now less than ever after what she had done to my Bella.

"That is… out of the question"-She said breathless.

At that moment, as in many others, I wish I could read her mind, even for just a second. I didn't understand her reactions and every time I felt more frustrated and confused.

Somehow, she managed to pass the issue of Victoria to werewolves with an ease that leave me perplexed.

By what I saw in her eyes and the fear in her voice, I could say that Bella hadn't fear werewolves but Victoria. That was more or less understandable for me, Victoria was dangerous, but I didn't like her friendship with those dogs either "_It was too dangerous!!"_

There was also the fact that, to deter me, she used my promise to stay with her against me. A promise that she doesn't wanted to believe.

And then, at the end of the list, came the Volturi. They frightened her as much as Victoria, and when I tried to reassure her, she began to cry again.

"You don't have to be afraid"-The pain in her weeping caused me intense pain. I could not let her suffer like this-"I won't let them hurt you"

Nobody would hurt her again, not even me. I would do everything in my power to make her forget the last months.

"While you're here"-She said desperate and hurt.

It hurt me her reluctance to my words, but I could tell she was accepting them slowly, I would repeated her as often as necessary how much I loved her and needed her, until she understand that.

I took her face in my hands tightly; setting my eyes on hers-"I will never leave you again"-Bella should understand that leaving wasn't an option for me, not even a remote one. That would kill me, both of us.

"But you said thirty"-She began to complain weakly-"What? You're going to stay, but let me get all old anyway? Right"

Despite all the pain and suffering; despite even seeing with her own eyes the kind of monsters we are; she still wanted to become a vampire. Waiving all and everything that a human life could offer her for being with me! _Me_, who caused her so much damage "_My Bella"_ I thought with tenderness, but I knew that I could never allow it, this sort of existence was not for her, I couldn't let a soul as beautiful as hers ceased to exist.

"Is this really…"-There were traces of sorrow in her voice before she gets quiet. A few moments later, a slight shiver toured her body and the pain returned to her face with all its power.

I couldn't bear one more instant watching her suffering that way without knowing.

"Yes?"-I pressed, feeling a terrible anxiety.

"But what about when I get so old that people think I'm your mother? Your grandmother?"- Her voice trembled and I could see fear in her eyes.

Why she didn't understand that it didn't matter; that what I love of her was her soul, the way she made me feels, her braveness and ability to love, no her physical appearance. Of course she has a gorgeous body and that was something more I loved of her, but it wasn't the only or most important thing.

The tears that slid down her cheeks were so unjustified that I wipe them away with my lips; tasting its sweetness in my eager lips.

"That doesn't mean anything to me. You will always be the most beautiful thing in my world"-But to be honest, she would always _be_ my world, my universe-"Of course…"-That's when reality hits me. I noticed that when Bella grew old, she was going to want things that I wouldn't be able to give her as marriage or children. The only thing I could offer her was me and always with limitations because, intimate contact would never be an option for us, it was too dangerous for her.

I shuddered at the thought of her with another man, forming a family, growing older with her-"If you outgrew me- if you want something more…"-I would not be so selfish to deny her a future, happiness-"I would understand that, Bella. I promise I won't stand in your way if you want to leave me"

Pain and despair would destroy me but I will do anything to see her happy.

"You do realize that I'll die eventually, right?"

Well, if she thought that _THAT_ way I was going to change my mind, she was very wrong. Just thinking about losing her _THAT_ way again, made to that terrible pain, suffering, despair and madness seized me, but she would not become a monster.

"I'll follow after as soon as I can"-Without any kind of hesitation.

"That is seriously…"-"_ Perfect? Magnificent? The solution to all our problems?"_-"Sick"

"Bella, it's the only right way left-"-I answered a little frustrated "_is that she didn't understand it?"_

"Let's just back up for a minute"-She was angry now. That was one of my favorites expressions of her "_My angry little kitten"_-"You do remember Volturi, right? I can't stay human forever. They'll kill me. Even if they don't think of me till I'm thirty"

"No"-And even less since Caius and Jane felt personally offended-"They won't forget but…"

"But?"-She interrupted me as she stared at me warily.

And I smiled because that answer made me feel that I had won. Also, I had several plans to keep her safe, and they were really brilliant plans.

"I have a few plans"

"And these plans"-She said angrily and maybe a little conceited which immediately made me mad. Her foolishness seem to be limitless-"This plans all center around me staying human"

"Naturally"-I didn't know how she could expect otherwise.

Then, she breathed deeply. I thought she was going to continue arguing with me but instead of talking, she squared her shoulders and push my arms away. My anger quickly became fear, panic.

"Do you want me to leave?"-I asked, trying to hide my pain. If that was what she wanted, her guilt at my pain shouldn't change her decision.

I didn't understand how, after struggling for her to believe me, to forgive me, I had managed to make her so furious that she didn't want me around anymore. I should've been silent; I should never have touched the topic of her death, at least not now. "_My stupidity would never have limits?"_

"No"-She replied and, never in my life a _'no'_ had caused me so much bliss and happiness. That meant that she didn't want me away. That I still had hopes!-"I'm leaving"

"_Where did she want to go at this hour in the morning? Everybody is sleeping!"_ well, at least humans are slept.

"May I ask where are you going?"-I asked while she gets up. I didn't know what would happen to me if we get back together since I couldn't stand the minimal separation in our bodies. I couldn't be with her _ALL_ the time…

"I'm going to your house"-she replied walking around.

I fear that she end hurt, the dark was too much for her eyes. So I got up and picked up her shoes. Probably that was what she was looking for.

"Here are your shoes"-I offered them when I reach her side-"How did you plan to get there?"

I was quite sure that, no matter what she says to me, I would end giving up eventually and taking her where she wanted.

"My truck"

"That will probably wake Charlie"

I hoped that the idea of her father discovering her escaping would deter her. Besides, I needed a definitive answer. I needed to know if we _were_ together again or not.

"I know"-she sighed-"But honestly. I'll be grounded for weeks as it is."-Definitely WE would end up locked up because there was no way for me to be away for her.-"How much more trouble can I really get in?"

"None. He'll blame me, not you"

"If you have a better idea, I'm all ears"-She challenged me.

But I didn't have many ideas and, ultimately, it didn't matter because she had her mind up-"Stay here"-I offered without conviction.

"No dice. But you go ahead and make yourself at home"-She joked on her way to her bedroom door.

But I rushed to block her. We haven't finished talking yet, and for some estrange reason, I didn't like the idea of her going to my house…

When she turned around, I saw her intentions to throw herself out the window; I decided it would be better to take her myself. At least that way I would be sure that she was safe, and without injuring herself.

"Ok"-I sighed-"I'll give you a ride"

"Either way"-she said shrugging her shoulders-"But you probably should be there, too"

"And why is that?"-I asked with genuine curiosity.

"Because you're extraordinarily opinionated, and I'm sure you'll want a chance to air your views"

"My views on which subject?"-I asked through my teeth. I wasn't enjoying at all the path of her thoughts.

"This isn't just about you anymore. You're not the center of the universe, you know. If you're going to bring the Volturi down on us over something as stupid as leaving me human, then your family ought to have a say"

Nope, I definitely didn't like her thoughts path-"A say in what?"-I needed her to say it out loud so I could be angry.

"My mortality. I'm putting it to a vote"


	19. Chapter 18 CONFESSIONS

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING RELATED WITH TWILIGHT**

* * *

Chapter 18

**CONFESSIONS **

"_What?"_ this woman must have something wrong in her head! After all she knew, after all she saw and still, she wants to lose her human life!

I was extremely angry with her but I couldn't claim her anything: first, she wasn't mine, yet so, I had no kind of right on her; second, I couldn't take decisions for her; so I set my jaw tightly. I took her in my arms and jump out the window. Once outside, I got her on my back and ran towards the dark forest.

Running always have been one of my favorite activities, especially since Bella came with me but tonight, that feeling was lost on me, even with Bella on my back. My body and my mind were overwhelmed by anxiety, fear and insecurity.

The minutes passed and Bella still said nothing, but there has a small improvement, another small detail that helps me to keep hope: my sweet angel's face wasn't hidden on my back as the other times; now, she had her chin resting on my shoulder, I could feel her warm skin touching mine and her sweet breath mixing with my own. Out of nowhere, I felt her head turn and she kissed my neck tenderly.

That simple act swept away completely all of my fears and doubts, making my stomach shrivel and my breathing speed up-"Thank you"-I said followed with a sigh of relief; now I was sure that I would be able to reconquer her, to be with her and make her happy, to make her forget the horrible nightmare that I put her through-"Does that mean you've decided you're awake?"-I teased her. I felt so light that I felt I was able to fly.

Her answer was her beautiful laugh, so light and carefree, so full of happiness that I felt that my heart was about to beat again. THIS should have been our reunion, not that Italian nightmare.

"Not really"-This response somewhat undermined my happiness, since she was still somewhat undecided about my feeling towards her-"More that, either way, I'm not trying to wake up. Not tonight"

Even though it seemed a wonderful dream for me too, I had to convince her that this was real and, to achieve that, she had to trust me the way she did before.

"I'll earn your trust back somehow. If it's my final act"

I would spend each and every day of my existence trying to recover her trust completely, without doubts or fears.

"I trust you. It's me I don't trust"-she said with such determination that confused me.

"Explain that, please"

I slow down to a walk, we were quite close to the house and I wanted to feel her warmth a little bit longer; so much time has passed since the last time…

"Well…"-She began slowly, weighing the words before spoke them-"I don't trust myself to be…enough. To deserve you. There´s nothing about me that could hold you"

"_God! The damage I did would never end?"_ I thought desperately. I didn't know how much it had to be her insecurity and how much there had to be my stupid lies in her words. All I knew for sure was that my sweet Bella would never doubt about US any more.

I stopped a few miles away the house knowing that, as soon as we entered she'll became quiet and, the most plausible is that I didn't had another chance to ask for an explanation about "THAT".

I stretched and get her off of my back, not very sure that her balance has improved as much as her "love" for speed; when she was on the ground, the absence of the warmth of her body on mine made that that nasty hole in my chest, that I thought now inexistent, shake annoyingly, taking my breath away so, I turn quickly and hugged her tightly against my chest, saturating my lungs with her luscious scent.

"Your hold is permanent and unbreakable"-I whisper-"Never doubt that"

In an attempt to change the subject, I asked something that was in my mind since the very moment she avoided the subject.

"You never did tell me…"

"What?"-She asks confused.

"What your greatest problem is"

That damn hole shuddered in my chest; now fill with fear and despair to find out that, despite all my efforts and words, my sweet Bella still doubt me "_Goddamn you a thousand times, Edward Cullen. This pain is your entire fault!"_

I hated me so much that, despite her sweet attempts to make me feel better, I couldn't think in anything else. Leave was not an option, never more so, because that would destroy us both immediately and completely.

I was looking for a solution, some kind of relieve from this unbearable pain, when Bella has an "epiphany". She remained silent for so long that, beyond my fears, now anxiety sized me.

"Oh!"-she said gasping

I waited but no other single word or sound came out of those tantalizing lips and the silence was driving me crazy.

"Bella?"

"Oh. Okay. I see"

"_WHAT? C'mon love, say something!"_- "Your epiphany?"

"You love me"-She told me marveled as those beautiful brown eyes found mine.

"Truly, I do"-I whisper, overtaken by emotion. I can see how that unconditional love, that blind trust returned to her. At that moment I felt how relief swept on everyone of my cells, it felt like my silent heart shake with happiness to the point that I could have sworn it was about to beat.

I took her beautiful face in my hands and kissed her with all the love and passion that boiled in me. THIS should have been our reconciliation kiss, free of negative emotions; only love, acceptance and forgiveness.

When we both were panting, I release her just enough to lean my forehead on hers, struggling to catch my breath.

"You were better at it than I was, you know"

"Better at what?"-She asks completely confused.

"Surviving. You, at least, made an effort. You got up in the morning, tried to be normal for Charlie, followed the pattern of your live. When I wasn't actively tracking, I was…"-dirty, senseless, pathetic, even maybe stinky-"totally useless. I couldn't be around my family-I couldn't be around anyone. I´m embarrassed to admit that I more or less curled up into a ball and let the misery have me"-I smiled ashamed and, if I could have been able to flushed, it could've be seen even in this darkness-"It was more much pathetic than hearing voices. And, of course, you know I do that, too"

Despite the fact that anyone would have thought she was crazy _I_ knew that wasn't the case, that our love was the one who had spoken, which had put my voice on her head and force me to see her beautiful face again and again, pulling me to her side.

"I only heard one voice"-She corrected me and I could distinguish a note of relief in her sweet voice.

_"See, Edward. I told you there was nothing to worry about"_-Alice though proudly.

* * *

Hello!!!!

LOL now I decided to put my note at the end... what do you think????  
I hope you like the chapter, I remind you this is the penultimete chapter and that the next will be divided in two!!!! (I hope you chatch that because I don't!!! hahaha)  
This chapter have no specific song, but you can hear:  
"I Will" "I Promise You"- BSB form Black&Blue album  
"No One Else Comes Close" "I Need You" "Don't Wanna Lose You" "Back Tou You Heart"- BSB from Millenium Album  
"Unbreakable"-Westlife from The Greatest Hits Album  
With them you might catch my mood when I write the chapter and the next one. Hope you like it...  
Also!!! Just like in the previous chapter, the thoughts in here are from Edward exceot the last one, but you could easily tell sice it says it was Alice...  
Hum... I think that's all. The next chapter shoud be up next friday since it is the last one... Mwa ha ha ha I love suspense... EDWARD'S BABY should be up... I don't know... What you think about friday also???? Let me know what you think!!!!!

Thank you so very much for reading and for leaving me some love...I love you too  
This chapter is dedicated to "demelza12" for being so suporting and fun!!! LOL and for all of you whom made me smile!!!!


	20. Chapter 20 VOTES

So!!! This is the last chapter (along with the next one which I'll post as soon as I finish with this)

Thank you very much for reading, and specially for those who thake the time to review; that means the world to me, know that out there are people who actually like what I write is amazing, it makes you fell good.  
"demelza12; twihaard22; StrangeMindFiction; squigglynn; Allien McFunkington; Teddybeargurl; Chasidy Smith; iloveJacobandJasper" my special thak you. You guys made me smile with your words. I love you

Now, about the story... the next chapter is very short, I'll explain why in the chapter. About this one, well, it's kind of tricky:  
As always, the thougths are expressed with italics BUT I think that in this particular conversation, Edward was assaulted by every thought of everyone in his family, that's why I put the names before each one; in the original one, the thoughts were with different colors to be easily distinguishable, unfortunately in here I couldn't do that... If you ge confused, please let me know, I'll try to clarify them to you as soon as possible the best I can.

**DISCLAIMER: TWILIGHT BELONGS TO STEPHENIE, THIS SILLY STORY BELONGS TO ME!!!**

* * *

Chapter 19

**VOTES **

The dining room, for most of the families it was a place for reunion and coexistence, for mine, it was a place where we could discuss and solve problems, but today, it was the entrance of hell for me.

I couldn't understand how or why Bella wanted to do this. Yes, it was quite true that I wanted her to be like me to never lose her, but I couldn't damn her for mu selfishness; I love her too much to wish her such a fate.

My family had seen this coming from the beginning, from the very moment that my life became the life of Bella; glad to see me so happy. I had no idea how my solitude worried them until they were relieved to see me with someone and, after the last few months, they were determined not to let it happen again, even acting against my better impulses to not see me suffer, which I _may_ appreciate over time, but not now.

"So, I have a problem"-Bella began shyly-"Alice promised the Volturi that I would become one of you"

_Rosalie: "Grate! Miss human wants to be a vampire! Okay, okay, I know that two of my siblings almost die because of me and that thanks to her we are together now, but I can't simple avoid it. She's trashing everything overboard! She doesn't even know what's living! Doesn't realize that over the years she will miss and need everything she had now!"_

"They're going to send someone to check, and I'm sure that's a bad thing-something to avoid"

_Emmet: "Wow! Finally some action! Really bro, Bella is the best thing that ever happened to a vampire. There is always something to do!"_

"And so, now, this involves you all. I'm sorry about that. But if you don't want me, then I'm not going to force myself on you"-Bella continued, glancing each one of us.

_Esme: "What do you mean with 'if you don't want me'? Bella, you've always been welcomed. From the very moment that you stole the heart of my dear Edward"_

"Whether Alice is willing or not"

_Alice: "See, Edward. See what you've done? Now MY friend distrusts me because of your damned lies! I don't know how, bit you have to fox this"_

"You all know what I want. And I'm sure you know what Edward thinks too"

"_What I think too…"_ I rambled with the idea of _changing_ Bella, to the way it made me feel; but it was something hard to know because I was full with mixed emotions.

I was trying to figure them out when my family thoughts scream in my mind, together! "_OF COURSE WE KNOW!"_

"_Why?"_ I thought with a hint of indignation "_Why my family didn't support my decision, why did they want this monstrous life for my sweet Bella?"_

When Bella said 'go back to Italy alone' the anger that I had struggled so hard to contain rip trough me like a dull snarl, echoing deep in my chest _"There's no way for me to leave her alone, much less to go to ITALY!"_

"I want you to vote yes or no on the issue of me becoming a vampire"

Those words "_Those goddamn words!"_ suddenly brought me back to reality…

"Just a minute"-I interrupted, frantically looking for something in my brain that could make her forget about this stupid plan.

When our eyes met, I could see pain and confusion mixed with anger at my interruption. Afraid to make her mad enough as our recent reconciliation does mean nothing, I squeezed tightly her hand with pleading eyes.

"I had something to add before we vote"

Her sigh, despite being a sigh of resignation, seems to me as a sing to continue. I didn't like her resignation to my wishes but, at this time, I could accept _anything_ that helps me to discourage her of this destination…

The faces of Aro, Caius, Jane, Felix and Demetri came to my mind and, suddenly, a promising plan took form before my eyes.

"About the danger Bella's referring to, I don't think we need to be overly anxious"-I pursuing flippantly.

If my brothers helped me, there should be no problem.

"You see,"-The thrill of battle mixed with the euphoria of having back Bella at my side dominate me completely, permeating my movements and my voice as I spoke-"there was more than one reason why I didn't want to shake Aro's hand there at the end. There's something they didn't think of, and I didn't want to cine them in"

Honestly, I was exaggerating a bit, but one way or another I had to convince them.

"Which was?"-Alice popped skeptical "_Because I saw nothing, Edward"_

"The Volturi are overconfident, and with a good reason"

_Alice: "I would rather call them arrogant but, what is that 'reason' you speak of?"_

"When they decide to find someone, it's not really a problem"-"_Especially when they want that SOMETHING very much"_ I thought as I look down, into my Bella's eyes-"Do you remember Demetri?"

She shivered in response "_I know love, I'm scared too. But not for the same reasons"_

"_Demetri?"_ they thought all at once. Many of them didn't know him. In fact, I believe that only Alice, Bella and I know him…

_Alice: "What's 'special' about him?"_

"He finds people-that's his talent, why they keep him"

_Alice: "Uh-hum and your point is?"_

_Carlisle: "Where do you want to go with that?"_

"Now, the hole time we were with any of them, I was picking their brains for anything that might save us, getting as much information as possible"-I press a little bit more Bella's hand, repeating me again and again that there was no danger and that she was with me-"So I saw how Demetri's talent works"-"_Well, that's an understatement. I would rather say that he was showing off"_-"He's a tracker-a tracker a thousand times more gifted than James was. His ability is loosely related to what I do, or what Aro does. He catches the…flavor?"-"_No, it's not that. is it the 'way' of thinking? Some kind of mental fingerprint?"_ -"I don't know how to describe it… the tenor… of someone's mind, and then he follows that"-And that, obviously, was the way in which Felix and he found me-"It works over immense distances. But after Aro's little experiments, well…"

Aro was very lucky that I hadn't annihilated him for having 'experimented' in that way with my Bella "_What if they really hurt her?"_

"You think he won't be able to find me"-Bella conclude with muffled, sad, disappointing voice. It kill me see her like that, specially knowing that I had caused that pain, nut there was no way for me to let her going with that ridiculous idea "_There's nothing to worry about anymore. Without the threat of the Volturi finding her, she has no reason to fear about. Just like I swore before"_

"I'm sure of it. He relies totally on that other sense"

"_He's NOT the only one!"_ Alice, Jasper, Emmet and Carlisle thought dryly at the same time.

"When it doesn't work with you, they'll all be blind"-I continue without given them the slightest attention.

"And how does that solve anything?"

"_Oh, c'mon, Bella! It's the perfect solution! Everything I've always wanted for you!"_-"Quite obviously"-I replied looking fixedly into her deep chocolate brown eyes-"Alice will be able to tell when they're planning a visit, and I'll hide you. They'll be helpless"-I told her excitedly, trying to convince her but also, trying to convince myself that my plan would work "_it HAS to work!"_

_Emmet: "Are you saying what I'm think you're saying, bro?"_

I turn to him with a grin, but before I could answer him, Bella spoke.

"But they can find you"

"_That's the plan, sweetheart" _I thought as I reach my fist to Emmet's over the table.

"Excellent plan, my brother"-He said with enthusiasm.

"No"-Rosalie hissed "_You're not going to be the only one in risk, you idiot! But the whole family! AND Bella! Honestly, do you really believe that she's going to sit around and just wait? Just look what she did today! Three days ago! for you!"_

"Absolutely not"-Bella agrees.

"Nice"-Jasper commented _"It's time for them to try 'una cucharada de su propio chocolate' (a spoon of his own chocolate)"_

"Idiots"-Alice muttered _"You know VERY WELL that this won't work, Edward. You've seen the same things I've seen! Bella WILL BE one of us, stop tormenting yourself…"_

_Esme: "Son, please, came to reason. Even if the plan works, then what? Are you going to let Bella age to repeat all this angst and despair when she dies? Edward! Neither of you deserves that fate. Bella is like a daughter to me and, as much as I love you, even if you are the first and most beloved of my children, I won't let you hurt her like that again. Did you understand, young man? Good intentions aren't always the right path"_

"All right then"-Bella said firmly, claiming the attention now focused in me-"Edward has offered an alternative for you to consider. Let's vote"

I turn slowly to see her, as she nailed those deep eyes of her in mine.

"Do you want me to join your family?"-despite her effort to sound indifferent, I knew her well enough to detect insecurity and fear about my answer

"Not that way"-I said, struggling to sound positive. I couldn't let win my selfishness and keep her immortal by my side, that wasn't, in any way, the right thing to do _"Mature, grow old and die. That's the natural and proper course of life"_ I repeated over and over again, trying to convince myself.

My next words were almost as difficult and painful to say as when I told her that I didn't love her anymore. I still couldn't believe that she believed me-"You're staying human"

_Carlisle: "Edward, you know that I've always supported and respected your opinions, ideas and decisions; and you also know that I love you as my own son, even more, because you were my partner in my loneliness-and you still are-a friend; someone I could trust blindly; but I think this is one of the few and very rare occasions in which, rather than help you and guide you I will have to act, impose if you like, because I can't see how you hurt Bella AND yourself without doing anything. I love you too very much to let and see you go… and I won't let you hurt your mother like that again. Please, son, do the right thing. I don't want to have disagreements with you and you know perfectly fine that, if you don't do it, I will do it. Do you understand what mean, Edward? This need to be done, not only because the 'Volturi menace' (of which, I'm sure, I could care about without fighting, as you said before) but because is what Bella wants, what YOU need. Did you agree now with Bella becoming one of us? With all it entails?"_

I couldn't answer, I felt trapped inside my own body, trying to digest Carlisle's words, a father to me in more ways than one. I knew he was right, that everything he said was nothing but the truth, that he only wanted my welfare and happiness and he knew all that was in Bella "_My Bella"_ But I couldn't accept it, I _shouldn't _accept it, it wasn't right. There wasn't _any _reason for Bella to live this eternal torment…

"Edward"-Carlisle repeated out loud.

"No"-that's all I could say. Instinct was over taking me, pushing me to protect my mate against any kind of threat, getting all rational thought away from me at dizzying speed.

"It's the only way that makes sense"-He tried to reason with me-"You've chosen not to live without her, and that doesn't leave me a choice"-_"I'm sorry"_

I felt a growl rumble in my chest and how the little control I had left slip as water through my fingers.

I got up, afraid of hurting Bella; I release her hand and left the room, snarling under my breath a string of insults against my selfishness and stubbornness.

"I guess you know my vote"-Carlisle say Bella with a sigh "_I'm really sorry, son"_

"Thanks"- the voice of my angel, despite being weak, was still full of happiness, peace and hope, flew to my ears.

A wild impulse wild impulse seized me up and the only thing at handy to ride my anger, frustration, resentment and fear was the new and recently acquired sixty-inch plasma TV fetched specially from Korea. I took it with both hands and ripped into halves, like a simple and useless piece of paper.

I knew they get mad, in fact, I could hear Emmet begging to sky that is wasn't his 'baby' of sixty inches; but this time I really didn't care "_I take care of that later!"_

I didn't understand my family! I thought we all agreed that this wasn't the kind of live, of future we had chosen. So, what's the insistence now of changing Bella! She! That has all the potential, all the opportunities in life that we had lost so long ago.

"Where do you want to do this?"-Bella's voice blew up my ears.

"_WHAT? NO! Not now!"_ Maybe, just maybe I could accept this with time. Time they were taking away from me! I couldn't let that happen "_I need _time!_ Time to love her, to care of her; to convince her that she's everything I've always wanted. Time to show her all the wonderful human experiences that she give up without a second thought; time for her to _love_ life!"_

"No! No! NO!"-I came in angry and terrified by the rush of the things. I was in front of her in no time, so close that I could feel her warm and sweet breath on my face. Decided, if it's needed, to force her to postpone her ridiculous plans-"Are you insane? Have you utterly lost your mind?"

It hurt, deep down in my heart, to talk to her in that way, to be so rude and brutal; but all my attempts had failed "_Perhaps if I put my foot down…"_

_Alice: "Help me, Edward! If I do it I will kill her!"_

"You can do it"-Bella urged Alice-"I trust you"

And I don't know why, but her words and her tone made me feel that she didn't trust me; 'a normal thing after _everything_ you've done!' anybody could think, but still, it was painful…

A snarl thundered in my chest so hard that I shook from head to toe. I didn't know whether it was result of the pain or the anger that consumed me and wipe away everything in its path.

"Carlisle?"

"_That's it!"_ that was the drop that spilled the glass. One thing was dragging Alice into this and quite another was engaged Carlisle "_He CAN do it! He has done it four times before and has enough self control to do it again!" _I thought terrified, desperate to avoid this possibility, especially after the 'words' of my father.

Never, in all my life, I physically forced someone to full fill my will, much less Bella. That was extremely _bad_; I had been raised to care for, to protect and respect women; not to submit them, but my control lay at my feet with my chivalry so, I took strongly but gently her delicate and beautiful face, forcing her to look at me, while I pointed out the vampire behind me to keep quiet.

And of course, none of them listen to me, not even Bella when I begged for more time.

But what hurt the most, which terrified me and tore my heart, was when she told me to let her go _"What have I done?"_

Those were the words I dreaded to hear, because they meant that she didn't want me, that she didn't trust me, that she didn't need me…

My anger turn into despair and, in the midst of my distress at finding a solution to what I've done-begging to the sky for she to take me back- I remembered her father _"A father that just recovered his baby girl back AND that is about to awaken"_

I decided to play that card: appealing to the emotional bonds she had with her human parents and friends. I was playing dirty, hurting her deeply with that, but I was desperate to make her understand.

I saw the pain, shame, despair, emptiness and uncertainty glided slowly on her face while thinking about the people she loved and the consequences of her abandon (abandonment because, after her transformation, she could never see them again) _"It may work. Maybe I can win some time to convince her…"_

"In the interest of remaining _inconspicuous, _I suggest that we put this conversation off"-I proposed when I see the emotional conflict on Bella's face-"at the very least until Bella finishes high school, and moves out of Charlie's house"

"That's a reasonable request, Bella"-Carlisle pointed out.

"_Yes, thank you SO much. It gives me time to gain more time"_ I thought relieved.

_Alice: "It's going to work, Edward. But not the way you want. Bella will become in one of us before the year ends. Just one thing: you know that, bring her with us to just 'change' her, without a bond between you it's not the way to do it, at least not the right way to do it, you know we love her and we can't wait for her to be our sister; but you and I (specially you) want her to become a CULLEN before becoming a vampire"_

"_Uh? What is Alice talking about?"_ I didn't understand quite well what she was trying to tell me, it was weird and disconcerting the way she emphasized 'Cullen'; but I didn't waste a thought in that either because Bella had agreed to postpone things…

"I should probably take you home"-"_Far away from the 'bad influences' where I can beg, plead and humiliate myself if needed to get a little more time"_-"Just in case Charlie wakes up early"

"After graduation?"-Bella asked Carlisle, making sure that they had a deal-

"You have my word"-He said.

"Okay"-She said with an angelical smile on her full, tempting lips _"That woman is going to be the death of me"_-"You can take me home"


	21. Chapter 2O PROPOSAL

This is it!!! the very last chapter!!!  
Can you see now why I post 19th and 20th together?!?!?!

Now, my reasons for it being this short:  
Well, you see, in the site 'The Twilight Saga' it's where I post my stories first, and I had way too long without posting because I was in the middle of an "author block" Such a lame excuse, I know, but I couldn't seem to think in anything good enough. I have about 10 drafts of this chapter, but none of them like me enough to post it.  
One day, like a month ago (or maybe even more) I was with my cousing witching T.V. and talking abut enything and everything, and she kind of help me to go trhough this.  
As you may notice, the chcapter ends somewhat like the movie. Believe me when I tell you that my intentions with the first Edward propposal were much better, but words didn't came out right and I was getting frustrated and worst!!! my readers were becoming impatients!!

I really, really hope you like it. Please, let me know what you think...

**DISCLAIMER: LIKE I SAID, STEPHENIE OWNS EVERY RIGHT ABOUT TWILIGHT, I'M JUST ONE OF THOSE WHO LIKES TO BORROW THEM AN LET TEM PLAY!!!**

* * *

Chapter 20

**THE PROPOSAL**

Once at her bedroom, the cryptic words of Alice keep turning in the back of my mind, until the sweet face of my Bella disappeared under the protection of her covers and a sudden panic took me over. Silly, yes, but the truth is that, after being apart for so long, and the horrible but real feeling of her being dead were attached in me forever.

So, I took action to the matter and made sure that her angelic face wasn't hidden from me anymore.

"If you don't mind, I'd much rather you didn't hide your face. I've lived without it for as long as I can stand."

Seeing that lovely face again was all it took for me to get lost into those endless chocolate bottoms of hers and know for sure that, even if I tried with all my might, I could never live without her by my side; stupid me to think otherwise.

Then, an idea popped in my head, like a crackling a light in the darkness and, at that moment, Alice's words suddenly took meaning. I had found the perfect solution to our problems and, hopefully, a solution -albeit temporary- to her transformation. "_Well, that is if she accepted me"_

I do not remember being so nervous in my hole existence, but when I realized what I was about to do, I could have sworn that my hands were sweating, and something else… like the ghost of adrenaline were running through my empty veins filling my useless stomach with butterflies and making me believe that my dead heart were beating a mile per hour "_all at the same time!!!"_

For sure, that was the hardest question I had to do, and I can't deny that her rejection broke my heart and my still uncertain soul "_Way to go Edward. It's still too SOON!!!!"_ But I was sure of the love my Bella felt for me, and I was positive that, one way or another, Bella would be my wife for all eternity.


	22. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hi!

Sorry for being out of writing for so long, school and work and my baby niece had had me very busy, but I haven't forgotten you all.

Fan fiction is my life and I have been working on editing and fixing my stories, because I feel my English is a tad bit better now and I want to make the reading of my stories easier (and I realized some of what I wrote is _very_ confusing LOL).

Anyway, expect changes and new stories (because I have some drafts on my notebook) and the completion of the fic _"DADDY!"_

Thank you for staying with me and I apologize again for being _out_ for so long.

I extend a sincere apologize for my spelling, grammar and every other important detail that entails writing in English; it isn't my native language so I'm bound to make some mistakes (though I think I'm getting a bit better hence the editing and re-posting), but I'll try to make them as few as possible.


End file.
